The Rain Song
by Forgotten Cat
Summary: Bella returns to Forks after rescuing Edward in Italy at the end of New Moon and she finds that things are different from when she left. Edward/Bella with eventual Jacob/Bella.
1. Chapter 1

Boilerplate: The Twilight universe belongs to Stephenie Meyer – I'm just playing in it. I don't own anything except my laptop computer.

The story starts off as Edward and Bella make their way back from Italy towards the end of "New Moon" and goes AU from there.

This is the first piece of fanfic I've written since 1996, so please be kind. I hope you enjoy it!

***

"Miss? You like something to drink?"

The stewardess – Gisella, according to her nametag - looked at me expectantly and tucked a loose curl back behind her ear.

"Um… what do you have?" I asked, trying to buy a few seconds of decision time. I knew I should drink something just to stay hydrated on the plane but I wasn't actively thirsty. The flight from Rome to New York, where our Air Italia plane had a layover, seemed to take at least double the 8 hours it was supposed to and while it wasn't quite as far from New York to Seattle, I knew that I'd soon get a headache if I didn't drink something.

As Gisella listed down the juices, coffee, tea, water, my mind thought about and rejected each possibility. But somewhere in my subconscious a decision was made and bubbled up to my lips. "I'll have a Coke," I spat out. And at that moment, there was nothing my body craved more than the syrupy, caramel-colored soda. I could almost taste the carbonation on the back of my tongue.

The stewardess smiled at me and began rifling through the open cans on the top of the drinks cart looking for a Coke. I may be uncoordinated and emotional but at least I knew what I liked – and _who_ I liked. I smiled back, thinking of the marble Adonis seated beside me.

"She'll have water." The stewardess froze. The melodious voice had stopped her before she could pour the soda into the plastic cup she was holding. I felt an ice-cold pressure on my upper arm and tensed involuntarily.

"Miss?" She looked at me questioningly and I looked over at Edward. His face was showed concern and the pressure on my arm lessened. Was this a test? Did he know something about the soda that I didn't? Did he read the stewardess's mind? Was she trying to poison me?

"Edward, what--"

"You won't be able to sleep." I must have looked confused because he continued, "If you drink that, won't get your rest and we still have the drive back to Forks to get through." And then he smirked, charmingly. "Bella, I know you wouldn't want to be cranky when you got home. You dad has been through enough as it is."

Charlie. My eyes prickled a little. I _was_ tired. I turned back to the stewardess, who seemed ready to move on without giving me anything.

"I'll have--," I paused, "--the Coke." She quickly poured it out and placed it on my tray with a little packet of snacks before I could change my mind.

"Sir? You like something to drink? Water?"

"No." His tone would have frozen the offered beverage.

"Snacks?"

"No."

The stewardess moved on to the next row and Edward with his free hand set about opening my snack, flicking open the packet of pretzels with an otherworldly grace, and wiped down the open can of Coke with the napkin, so that my hand wouldn't get too sticky.

I sensed that he was concerned and I felt guilty for acting like a petulant teenager. I put my warm hand over his ice-cold one. It warmed slightly.

"Edward, it will be okay. Really. Soda doesn't have the same effect on me that it did before—" I choked on the sentence, the pain of Edward's absence was still too raw, even with him sitting beside me. I tried again. "I've spent lots of afternoons drinking soda and hanging out with—" Jake. "—my friends."

I quickly picked up the plastic cup and sipped. The warm soda soothed my parched throat but did nothing to prevent my eyes from filling with tears. I blinked them back and leaned over towards Edward until my head was resting on his shoulder. I could feel the rock-like strength beneath the thin material of impeccably tasteful sandy-colored Italian linen.

Edward gently pressed his marble lips into my hair and I heard him inhale, smelling deeply.

Slowly sipping my soda, I tried to calm my thoughts. Breathe in. Breathe out. From the moment I heard that Edward was going to try and kill himself, my entire body had been at full alert. Adrenaline had flooded my system and the world around me shrank until all I could think of was Edward. With him safe beside me, my tunnel vision was receding and I didn't like what I saw.

I was really beginning to dread the fall out of my frantic flight to Italy.

Alice had called Charlie from New York during out layover to let him know what time my plane was getting in. She was flying to California to meet up with Jasper and the rest of the family. They were going to drive back to Forks from there. My stomach tightened thinking of Charlie. What must he be going through? One of his best and oldest friends dies and his daughter runs off to Italy instead of staying to comfort him? And Jake. His face when I left him… he had been close to Harry, too. I abandoned both of them when they needed me for a man that, at the time, might not have even cared about me.

I put my empty cup down on the tray and pulled my arm around my stomach. It gurgled ominously. I turned my head so that my forehead was resting on Edward's shoulder and willed my stomach to settle. I pushed down the guilty thoughts as far as I could and concentrated on Edward's scent. Breathe in. Breathe out. Breathe in Edward's special, floral aroma. Breathe out, the taste of warm soda, afternoons in Jake's garage, the rain pinging on the roof. I covered my mouth with my hand and tried to stand up but was pinned down. I needed to get to the bathroom – now. There was no way I was going to vomit on Edward Cullen.

"Bella? Are you okay? Are you air sick?" Edward reached over and deftly undid the seatbelt that was keeping me attached to my seat.

I shook my head yes, grateful, once again, that Edward could not read my thoughts, and concentrated on getting to the bathroom without tripping over the feet of the lanky businessman in seat 6C. I slid the lock on the door shut and opened the toilet lid and kneeled down. It smelt disgusting and was all the encouragement my mutinous stomach needed to bring everything back up. I couldn't even remember the last time I had eaten anything. Did I eat the breakfast Edward ordered for me at the hotel?

The toilet gave a satisfying whoosh as it flushed away everything I had purged. Less satisfying was my reflection in the mirror. I had always been pale, but I looked sallow. Unhealthy. My hair was a disaster and my lips chapped. There were giant circles under my eyes and, yes, that was a pimple developing on my chin. I rinsed my mouth out with water and sighed. When I was a vampire I wouldn't have to worry about pimples. Or getting my period. Or throwing up. I ran my fingers through my hair and straightened my ponytail. This was as good as it was going to get today. I couldn't believe Edward loved me.

Edward was waiting for me when I slid open the door to the bathroom and he pulled me into a hug.

I leaned into him. It felt like the hole in my chest had been spackled over but I still wasn't satisfied. Isn't Edward what I needed to be complete? Why did I still feel so empty? Full and empty at the same time – Bella Swan, freak of nature.

"Bella, I got some water and a antacid from the stewardess. Can you walk?"

I nodded yes into his chest.

Edward guided me back to our seats and I let him feed me the antacid and hold the cup of water to my mouth so I could sip it.

"Water won't upset your stomach." Edward looked pained. He put down the cup and began tucking blankets around me. "Why didn't you believe me, Bella? Is it because you don't think I understand human appetites? I've been observing humans eat and drink for longer than you've been alive. I've read Carlisle's medical books…" He drifted off and his amber eyes sparkled in the bright light of the reading lamp as he tried to read my reaction.

"Edward, I'm sorry."

He chortled, relieved, I think. "Well, just don't let it happen again."

I closed my eyes and, drained of everything, sank into a blissful numbness.

***

The drive home was miserable. We picked Carlisle's car up where Alice had left it in short term parking at the Seattle airport and were on the road by 11:30pm. Edward drove like a bat out of hell and I forgot how much I hated feeling so out-of-control in the passenger's seat. Intellectually, I knew I was perfectly safe – safer than when I was riding my motorcycle – but it didn't stop the panicked feeling fluttering in my still upset stomach. Edward's sweet scent mixed with my own unwashed stench and the combination made my head pound. I needed air.

I pressed the button to roll down the window and let the cool night air fill my lungs with the damp smell of pine. I imagined the little tree molecules entering my lungs, filtering into my blood stream, and circulating around to each of my fingers and toes and up around through my brain, brushing the impurities out. I closed my eyes and breathed deeply, wind whipping my hair.

One minute, two minutes, three minutes – "Bella! That's enough! You're going to make yourself sick!" The glass began to move up and I could feel the stale air inside the car moving back to choke me. I pressed the button to push the window back down but Edward had engaged the child-lock button.

He looked at me sternly. "I'm not returning you to Charlie with a cold – or worse."

"But—" I squeaked out.

"But nothing. You'll catch a chill hanging your head out of the window like a dog. Now, I'm going to turn up the heat and I want you to finish drinking that bottle of water I bought you back at the gas station."

Seeing that I wasn't going to respond, he turned on the radio and speedily found the classical music station.

"Wagner," he snorted derisively, as the soprano trilled out in German. "He's so—" Edward searched for the appropriate word to describe his loathing for the composer, "--Messy."

Although I couldn't care less about Wagner, I jumped on the conversational opportunity. "Messy?" I asked, willing Edward to take the bait.

He smiled over at me, glad to see that I was done arguing with his wishes and launched into a well thought out argument on why Wagner represented everything wrong with popular culture and how Richard Strauss and his 'tone poems' deserved to be more well-known. When the Wagner aria finished, Edward told me about the next selection playing on the station. I didn't have much to contribute but Edward kept up both sides of the conversation, seeing that his voice was keeping me pacified. And despite my initial lack of interest in the topic, Edward made it sound interesting.

The intellectual stimulation kept guilty thoughts at bay for a time but my lungs still felt stuffed with cotton and my legs cramped. I had to pee.

***

I started unbuckling my seatbelt before Edward even shut off the engine. The light was on in the living room and I could see the soft bluish glow of the TV through the window. I supposed it was too much to hope that Charlie would be asleep.

Edward turned off the headlights and reached over and grabbed my hands. It was pitch black.

"You don't have to do this, Bella." His eyes glinted as the light from another car appeared further down the road. His voice was calm but controlled, like Charlie trying to herd drunken Raven Spirit home to the Rez after a bender at Mill Creek, as if the slightest pressure would shatter me. "We can go back to my house and come over in the morning, after you've slept."

I almost agreed. Almost. I opened my mouth but before I could say anything, I saw the front door of the house open and the porch light flick on. Charlie appeared, framed by light. He looked disheveled and sad. Scared as I was of his reaction, I couldn't leave him alone again tonight. I shook myself free of Edward's hand and opened the car door.

"Bella?" Charlie called out in a shaky voice.

"It's me, Dad!" I answered back. I ran down the driveway to meet him and stopped just short of flinging myself into his arms. I, Bella Swan had never been so happy to be… home.

Charlie just looked at me. His eyes were bloodshot and his face unshaven. He smelled slightly of alcohol.

"Dad?" I hesitated. Was I even welcome back? "I'm sorry I left you so suddenly. I didn't mean to worry you, it's just—it was an emergency and I--"

Charlie closed the gap between us and pulled me into a big hug. I immediately burst into tears. "Don't you _ever_ worry me like that again. And I mean never. You're not stupid, Bella, I know you wouldn't run off like that unless you thought it was important but—the funeral and then I didn't know where you were and Jake has been running around here like crazy trying to take care of me and his old man. He borrowed your truck while your were gone--" Charlie stepped back, embarrassed to have been caught in such a blatant display of emotion.

I wiped my nose with the sleeve of my brown hoodie. I was going to have to wash it anyways.

"That boy is not allowed around here, Bella." Charlie had become Chief Swan.

"But, Dad—he didn't have anything to do with me leaving and—"

"Bella."

I sniffled. "Can I at least say good-bye? Or is that part of my punishment?"

"You're not going to leave with him are you?"

"No! Just—let me get bag and say good-bye."

I slowly walked back to the car and Edward. He had already put my suitcase on the ground and was watching me.

I couldn't bring myself to meet his eyes. "Edward, Charlie says—"

"I heard him. He's thinking about punching me in the face right now."

I gasped, horrified at my father's brutal imagination.

Edward chortled, amused at my reaction. "Bella. Your father will come around. He's a reasonable man. Just play along for now and you'll see. Show him how responsible you are. It wouldn't be right to go against his wishes. If I had ever had a daughter, I know I would only entrust her to a man who would respect my wishes—at least until they got married."

I tried to smile. Of course, Edward understood. He was so mature and responsible. I longed to be able to act in such an adult manner. I was going to have to try my hardest to live up to his expectations. If Edward wanted me to play the dutiful daughter – if that would impress him – then that is what I was going to do.

"It's going to be okay, Bella," he said soothingly, ruffling my already messy hair. "You go inside now and I'll meet you in your bedroom in a couple of hours. Just enough time for Charlie to fall asleep."

Guilt and desire fought within me. I was so tired, what I said next came out in a big rush. "Edward—I don't think that's a good idea. I don't want to get on Charlie's bad side already. I know he wouldn't find out but I'd feel guilty. Come meet me tomorrow after he goes to work—Charlie just said you weren't allowed in the house. He didn't say anything about you meeting me on the porch."

I took a deep breath, the pine-scented air filling my lungs. "Edward, I love you. I'm tired. I'll see you tomorrow."

Edward didn't say anything as he watched me walk back towards the house. I peeked back at his face – it was full of concern but, thankfully, no anger.

Charlie seemed to relax a little as I struggled up the driveway with my suitcase. Edward was still watching as I entered my house and Charlie closed the door behind me.

"Bella?"

"Yeah?"

"You're grounded. Forever."

"Forever is a long time. Can we debate the terms tomorrow morning? For right now, I can I just be grounded in my bed."

"Alright, Bells."

I started up the stairs.

"Dad?"

"Yeah?"

"I'm glad I'm home. And—I'm sorry."

"I know, sweetheart. I'm glad, too."

As I entered my room it felt as if a giant weight lifted off of my shoulders. I stripped off my dirty clothes, threw on the first T-shirt I could find, and passed out on my bed. For once, not dreading the nightmares.

***

_Buffy! What are you doing here? Edward is standing right over there because it's first period – besides, I thought you were dating Mike! Buffy looked at me like I was crazy. 'Mike Newton? As if! He wishes!' She leaned in conspiratorially, 'Actually, I was thinking of asking out Jacob Black – do you know him?' For some reason, I really didn't like that idea at all but I was walking through the dense woods outside of La Push. _

_It was gray and misty. The giant Sitka Spruce trees towered above me, their leaves forming a canopy high up. My dream-self knew where I was walking and my feet were taking me there. Left. Right. I was walking towards a giant fallen log. The light dimmed as if a cloud was passing overhead. There was just enough room for me to walk inside it if I bent my head a little and, unafraid of the dark, I walked on._

_A small doe came walking towards me. _

'_Do I know you?' I asked._

'_I don't think so,' said the doe. 'My name is—' and the doe gave a high-pitched yelp I couldn't understand '— and I'm here to warn you. Something bad is in the forest.'_

_A cold breeze blew past us and the doe startled._

'_What do you mean something bad?' I asked._

'_The watcher is here. I have to go. He doesn't know.'_

'_But who is _he_?_

'_Bella, the watcher wants to help but he makes things worse.'_

It was 9 a.m. and the sun was pouring through my open window.


	2. Chapter 2

_Boilerplate: The Twilight universe belongs to Stephenie Meyer – I'm just playing in it. I don't own anything except my laptop computer._

_I forgot this on the last chapter but thank you to Kathy Rindhoops for beta reading this for me._

_***_

Sunlight! I rubbed the sleep and dreams from my eyes and stretched luxuriously in my bed. A cool breeze fluttered the curtains and rustled the papers on my desk. I hadn't even realized I left it open last night. I looked around my room at my things. My books, my clothes in a pile on the floor, my pictures – my stomach gurgled. I was starving.

I jumped up and threw on some sweatpants. What shirt was I even wearing? Clallam County Intramural Soccer?

I smelled the coffee brewing and realized Charlie must still be home. What day was it? Thursday.

I felt strangely shy as I entered the kitchen. Swans weren't typically that emotionally demonstrative and I wasn't sure how to deal with Charlie after our display last night.

He didn't seem any more anxious than I was to relive the melodrama. Charlie was freshly showered, dressed, and pouring himself a giant thermos of coffee.

"Good morning," I said, groggily. "I'm going to be late for school."

"'Morning, sleepyhead. I figured you could start back at school tomorrow. Take today to rest up and think about things. Your friend Angela dropped your homework off for you—seems the kids at school thought you must have been sick."

"She did? I mean, they did?" I took a glass from the cabinet and poured myself some orange juice.

Charlie looked at me. "Yeah – they did." He handed me a giant corn muffin. "Emily Young brought them over yesterday. Said she made too many. Nice girl – shame about that bear attack."

"Yeah." I concentrated on cutting the muffin in half and dug the butter out of the refrigerator. It was a shame about a lot of things.

"Well, kiddo, I'm off to the station. Call if you need anything. And don't forget—you're grounded. We'll discuss for how long when I get home tonight."

"Okay, okay!"

He patted my shoulder on his way out of the kitchen.

"And Jake is bringing your truck by this afternoon after school but he is under strict orders not to let you use it."

"What? But dad—" I dropped the butter knife on the floor and tripped on a loose corner of the braided kitchen rug as I tried to catch up to him.

"I'll see you tonight, Bella." He called out over his shoulder as the front door closed behind him.

I was alone.

But it felt good. Calming. I needed clear my head – the last few days had been a whirlwind and despite the fact that I knew that Edward couldn't read my thoughts, it didn't prevent me from feeling that they weren't quite my own when he was near me. Today, right now, it was enough that I knew he was nearby and that he loved me. He had always loved me.

I smiled to myself. My stomach growled, but at least this hole, I knew how to fix. It took two muffins, a glass of orange juice, and an apple before I was ready to face the day. I made a mental list. Wash me, clean room and house, and then homework. And Edward. Edward wouldn't be able to come over if it was sunny. The smile faded.

***

Cleaning my room, I found a note on my desk in Edward's special calligraphy and a package. When had he dropped this off? I raced to the window to see if he was still outside but the sun shone brightly over the yard and the only think that glittered was the sun refracting in the glass of the window pane.

_The sun has taken my sunshine away. I'll spend every second the cursed sol solis hangs in the sky thinking of you._

_Don't consider this a gift, since I know you could never accept anything from me. This is merely on loan, for you to use if you need me when I cannot be near you._

Edward's thoughtfulness made me smile. I traced the midnight black words with my finger. The paper was thick and cream-colored and felt rich beneath my fingertips, like velvet.

I turned my attention to the package. It was wrapped in dark blue paper dusted with little stars. My stomached fluttered in anticipation. Slowly, I removed the wrapping. Inside was a brand-new cell phone, slim and shiny with some kind of leather along the sides. Tasteful, like Edward. It was on and there was one text message waiting for me.

_My number is already programmed in. Edward_.

***

The day wore on. I decided to start my homework in the living room. The windows were open to take advantage of the sunshine. I was still craving fresh air and if I had to be stuck inside doing 4 days worth of trigonometry problems, then at least I could be breathing in the sunlight. A couple of birds chirped quietly outside – they were enjoying this as much as I was. I glanced over at the shiny new cell phone gleaming in the sun and then turned my attention back to the page in front of me.

_In triangle ABC, if AB is 76 m and angle_— and I heard the telltale rumble of my truck's engine. My truck. Jake.

I didn't know what to do. Half of me hoped that he would just drop the truck off and leave and the other half wanted him to rush in and hug me like nothing had happened - like I hadn't left him behind as he begged me to stay.

The truck rumbled to a halt. Through the open window, I heard the truck door slam. The birds continued their songs. I tensed and my breath got shallow. Was that it? I waited a few seconds. My heart sank as I realized he didn't want to see me.

I stood up, banging my knee on the coffee table, and walked over to the window. I didn't know what I was hoping to see. Maybe just reassurance that my truck was okay – that Jake hadn't written "Bella broke my heart" in big letters across the side, broadcasting my guilty conscience to the entire county.

My truck was in one piece and cleaner than when I had left. I glanced around the front yard hoping to see some sign that Jake had been here. Instead, I saw Jacob himself, dressed in low slung cargo shorts and a dark red T-shirt, standing in front of the front door, head hanging down, clearly gathering the courage to knock. "Jake— " I squeaked out, excitedly. His head whipped around towards my window and the expression on his face made a lump form in my throat.

"Wait there!" I called out, afraid that I had spooked him off with my outburst. "I'll come let you in."

My heart was pounding in my chest when I opened the door. I willed myself not to cry. I didn't need to add to his burden. I was guilty enough as it is. He had composed himself in the few seconds it had taken me to reach the door and Jacob Black, official pack spokesperson greeted me.

"Bella."

"Jake—Jacob, I just wanted to tell you—I mean, I'm so sorry about everything—and now I'm grounded and—"

"Bella, just stop." Jacob was looking at a spot above my head, not meeting my eyes. More than anything I wanted him to meet my eyes. His tone brought back memories of another awkward conversation on a rainy afternoon in his front yard, when he told me we couldn't be friends. "Don't apologize. You made it clear when you left: the leech being a drama queen was more important than me or Charlie or making Harry Clearwater's funeral."

I reached out to touch his hand but his reflexes allowed him to maneuver out of the way before my fingertips could even brush his warm skin. My father hadn't mentioned the funeral but then Swans didn't really "do" the whole sharing feelings things.

Tears threatened to fall from the corners of my eyes. I tried to blink them back and felt the huge knife of guilt and remorse twist deeper inside my chest.

Jacob pushed on. "Look, Bella, there's a pack meeting tonight and Sam needs to know how many Cullens are back and how long they're staying and what their patrol schedule is going to be so we can coordinate about Victoria. She's been quiet the last few days but we're still trying to--" he finally looked down at me. "—catch her."

I hadn't thought it was possible for me to feel guiltier than I already did but meeting Jacob's hurt eyes, knowing that the pack was still watching out for Charlie and me and the rest of Forks while I had rushed off to Italy, to Edward – my pride and good intentions fell by the wayside. I flung myself at him and wrapped my arms as far as they would go around his chest and sobbed.

He stood frozen to the spot, his arms limp by his sides. I soaked up his heat like a leech – a vampire. He wasn't pushing me away but I felt his breathing speed up. His chest rumbled as he spoke.

"Bella?" He asked hesitantly. "Are you okay?"

I nodded, tears still flowing, but unwilling to let go.

And then Jacob Black laughed – a big, hearty, gut-busting laugh. His strong arms reached up and returned my hug, squeezing me tight. He leaned down and I shivered as his warm breath tickled my ear as he whispered, "I missed you, too." I snuggled harder against him and gave a sigh of satisfaction.

Reluctantly, I pulled myself away. Jacob was smiling at me and I smiled back. He looked like he was holding back laughter. While I was puzzling out the joke, he pulled off his T-shirt and handed it to me.

"Here, wipe your nose with this. It has a ton of your snot on it already."

Horrified, I did just that and an embarrassed blush spread on my cheeks. "Um, Jake, I'm going to go, um, wash up but you can come inside—if you want. I mean, I can make you a sandwich or something and I can tell you what I know about the thing, for your meeting."

The specter of Edward Cullen chilled the celebratory mood but the ice had been broken. Jacob shook off his giggles and followed me inside and went to inspect what we had available in the kitchen.

I hurriedly washed the tears from my face and blew my nose a few times for good measure – with Kleenex. Jacob's shirt went into the laundry pile. My eyes were still a little red but a warm and rosy glow spread across my cheeks. I smiled at my reflection and ran my fingers through my hair a couple of times, pushing it back behind my ears.

"Hey, Bells!" Jacob's voice called up from the kitchen. "Can I eat this?"

I couldn't help myself; I grinned. Jacob and I would get through this. Friends don't give up on each other so easily. I would make him understand – I was going to become a vampire but that didn't mean I didn't care about him or Charlie. All that would change is that I would be strong enough to protect them.

Back in the kitchen, Jacob had managed to consume three of Emily's muffins, the remnants of which were lying on the table, and was idly gazing into the refrigerator. I walked up behind him.

"You know," I said, "it doesn't matter how many times you open and close the door, you'll never catch the little man who lives inside and turns the light on and off. He's sneaky."

Jacob shut the door and grinned at me. "He may be sneaky, but I'm pretty fast. One of these days, when he's least suspecting it – pow! I'll have a new pet."

Before I could retort, Jacob swept me up into another big bear hug.

"Jake!" I squealed. "I can't breathe!" He loosened his grip slightly but bent his head down to rest on mine to make up for it. My arms wrapped around his chest and I basked in the warmth. It was just a friendly hug between friends, so why was my heart was pounding? I had no idea why I was so nervous, I had been forgiven-- I hoped.

I felt Jacob softly kiss the top of my head and I was suddenly extremely aware that Jacob wasn't wearing a shirt. I wanted to move away but my body wouldn't cooperate. Jacob sighed, contentedly.

"You smell so good, Bells."

"That's just my shampoo." I sputtered. "I washed my hair today."

Jacob laughed and started to untangle our limbs. "No, it's you. You smell really good when you want me."

"What? When I what?"

"I said, 'you smell really good when you want to make me a sandwich.'" Jacob looked ridiculously pleased with himself.

Flustered and blushing like crazy, I turned away from him.

"Hey, it's nothing to get upset about. It's not my fault you make a really good ham and cheese."

I had to get this conversation back on track before Jacob got too carried away with the teasing games that had gotten us into so much trouble before I left for Italy. He had a right to know where we stood.

Feeling more in control, I started to assemble Jacob's sandwich and then realizing I was hungry too, began a second one.

Jacob just watched me.

"Bells? Are you mad?"

"No, I'm just--" guilty "--hungry."

"Oh. Okay. Cool. So—Sam wants to know--"

I set the plates down on the table, one for each of us. Jacob sat down.

"Do you want something to drink, Jake? Iced tea, okay?"

"Um, sure."

I poured two glasses from the pitcher in the fridge and joined him at the table.

"Aren't you going to eat?" I asked. Jacob eyed me warily as he took a bite of his sandwich. He relaxed as he chewed.

I bit the bullet. "I'll go first. Edward is back, Jake. He's back and he loves me. He said he always loved me." I paused, waiting for a reaction that didn't seem forthcoming. "The rest of the Cullens are coming back, too." Still silence. Jacob had finished his sandwich; I started in on mine, unsure of whether to continue with the full story.

"Bella, I'm not about to tell you what to do but this is dangerous. _They_ are dangerous. With the Cullens back, we can't protect you here. That fu--, um, freaking treaty prevents us from shifting in Forks. As it was, Paul had to patrol around your house in human form last night."

"Paul was here last night?"

The cold look from earlier was back. "Look – I'll pass this on to Sam but we really need to talk to the Cullens. Can you organize a meeting?"

"Yeah. This is important. I don't think they'll mind. Actually—hold on a second, I'll text him." I started towards the living room, where I had left the new phone.

"So, Gramps has learned how to use a cell phone? That's cool." Jacob called from the other room. "Just call me when you hear. You can leave a message with my dad when you hear from him. I'll get it. I'd text you myself but wolves don't have opposable thumbs."

I turned back; Jacob was leaving.

"Jake, wait!" I grabbed his hand as he brushed past me into the cramped hallway. "We're friends, right? We'll always be friends."

"Sure, Bells. Friends."

And with that, he slipped his hand out of mine. He walked out of the front door and shut it behind him.

My hand was still warm from where it had gripped his and my head was swimming with unprocessed thoughts and emotions. It all seemed so simple when I was wrapped in his arms.

Well, Bella Swan may not be a superhero but I could do my part to help protect Charlie and the town. I texted Edward, taking his lead and using complete words and punctuation. I giggled inwardly at the ethereal Edward Cullen trying to interpret some of the slangy e-mails Renee sends me.

_The wolf pack wants a meeting with your family to discuss Victoria. Call me when you get this._

***

I had scrounged the cabinets for dinner materials but all I could come up with was fish and potatoes, which suited Charlie just fine. We'd have to go shopping this weekend – if I was allowed out of the house, which seemed unlikely. Charlie, who had clearly spent all day thinking up my punishment, had decided that Edward was strictly forbidden from the house and I was strictly bound to it, when not at school, that is. And I would be going back to school tomorrow. I took it all with what I hoped was the tone of a dutiful daughter. Charlie would come around, Edward was sure of it.

After dinner, I took all my homework up to my room. I was still on edge waiting for the cell phone to ring and tried put my nervous energy to good use. I was two chapters behind in reading _The Catcher in the Rye_ and, at this rate, I would still be two chapters behind tomorrow. I kept picturing Edward as Holden Caulfield, standing in that meadow catching the kids in the rye field—glittering in the sunlight.

Music interrupted my reverie-- it was my lullaby! Edward! I looked around confused for a few second until I realized it was coming from the phone – Edward must have programmed the ring himself. I answered it.

"Hello?"

"Bella." His voice was the most beautiful music I had ever heard.

"Hi, Edward. How are you? Were you, um, hunting today?"

"I'm doing quite well and I trust you are the same. I don't want to keep you up to late but I saw your message and I wanted to assuage any worries of yours before you went to bed. We will meet with the wolves. Emmett and I will meet them tonight by the treaty line."

"Oh—okay. I'll call Jacob and tell him. They want to know--"

"There is no need for that, Bella," he chuckled softly. "I already let your friend Jacob know. I—ran into him—this afternoon."

"Edward, are you okay? Jake's not exactly your biggest fan."

"I'm perfectly fine. But I don't think you should be seeing him at all, right now, for your safety. You don't know how concerned I was to hear that you had met Jacob alone this afternoon. Young werewolves are extremely volatile."

"What?! Jacob would never hurt me! He protected me for months while you were gone! And—he needs a friend right now."

"Will I see you at school?"

"Yes, but--"

"Then we can discuss it then. But for now, please. It's been such a short time since I had you back to myself and the thought of you alone with that werewolf is too much. What if something happened? I would never forgive myself."

I didn't say anything.

"I love you, Bella."

"I love you, too, Edward."

"Have sweet dreams—I wish I could stand guard to keep the nightmares away."

"Oh, Edward, Charlie will come around soon enough, when he sees what an ideal daughter I am. Until then—knowing that you are nearby will have to be enough."

He sighed. "What kind of gentleman would I be if I didn't respect the father of my beloved's wishes? But it is very tempting to act like a rake."

I smiled at the thought.

"Good night, Edward."

"Good night, Bella."

***

_Paris looked so pretty from the top of the Eiffel Tower but I was late for my welding class. I was making a bike and wanted to finish so I could ride home. It was so cold. I looked around for my coat and found Jake's old parka hanging on its usual rusty nail. I walked down the stairs and through the forest. _

_My dream-self knew where to go. The Sitka Spruce trees towered above me but I was walking towards the beach and would soon leave them behind. The ground began to slope downward. A cloud passed over the sun and I stopped. I turned around. Behind me was the doe. She gestured for me to follow her into a small hollow. _

'_Listen for the birds, Bella.'_

_I don't hear anything, I said._

'_Do you hear that?'_

_I could hear it - a low rumble getting louder and louder._

'_He's coming -- watch for the sign.'_

_What sign?_

'_It's cold, Bella, did you leave the window open?'_

_I felt a hand on my ankle._


	3. Chapter 3

Boilerplate: The Twilight universe belongs to Stephenie Meyer – I'm just playing in it. I don't own anything except my laptop computer.

***

"Bella? Did you leave that window open?"

"What sign am I looking for? That deer said to--"

"Enough dreams, sleepyhead. It's time for school! Your alarm has been going off for at least 10 minutes." Charlie, clearly already two cups of coffee into the day, was shutting my window. "You'll catch a cold if you sleep with the window open like this. So, I'm leaving for work but can I trust you to drive yourself to school and back?"

I rolled over, trying to shake the moss and leaves from my head. School. "Yeah, dad. I'll be fine. You have my word – to school and back, nowhere else."

"I knew I could count on you, Bells, but deputies Heyworth and Sanchez will be so disappointed that they will not be ensuring your cooperation."

"DAD!"

"I'm just joking – Heyworth is too much of a ladies man. I wouldn't trust him within twenty feet of you. Sanchez, on the other hand--his wife would have tan his hide if he tried anything funny."

"That's hilarious, Dad. You should try stand-up."

"Okay, okay. I'll try to be home around 4."

"Fine. Bye." I said, pointedly.

He took the hint and left me to get dressed.

***

School was school. Academics had never been difficult for me and thanks to Angela's thoughtful impulse to bring me my homework I wasn't too far behind in class. Besides, there were more important things to worry about. The Cullens were back in school – well, Edward and Alice were– and that is all anyone could talk about. My "illness" was swiftly forgotten in the gossip free-for-all that ensued.

Fitting Edward and Alice back into my routines wasn't as easy as I thought it would be. Counting the months, I had spent almost as much time missing them as I had actually being with them. New patterns and habits and friends had sprouted in the barren patch of life they had left behind and which table to sit at during lunch was suddenly a fraught question.

Do I ignore the people who had been helping me build up a normal life or do I invite Edward and Alice to sit with Mike Newton? I didn't want to antagonize Edward any more than necessary and, to be honest, I wasn't quite ready to share him with anyone yet. Edward seemed to have the same idea, as he had been glued to my side since the moment he spotted me in the parking lot that morning.

I spotted Angela heading towards the cafeteria and, signaling Edward that this was going to be "girl talk," I pulled her aside. "Do you think, um, that it would be okay if I sat with Edward and Alice at lunch today? We have a lot of, um, catching up to do."

Angela seemed nervous and glanced over my shoulder at where Edward was standing, watching us. "Oh! I just assumed you wouldn't be sitting with us anymore." She looked kind of sad. "I'm not going to have anyone to talk books with now—Jessica isn't exactly 'Reader of the Year'."

"Of course, I still want to sit with you—just _today_ I can't." I hoped she caught the emphasis on the 'today.'

"Sure, Bella." I don't think she believed me.

"And--thanks for bringing me my homework. You saved my life."

She smiled half-heartedly and walked off and it dawned on me that Angela thought I was the kind of girl who abandoned her friends as soon as her boyfriend took her back. I knew that wasn't how it was with Edward but the thought still made me uncomfortable.

I had forgotten how awkward it is to eat lunch with people who don't eat. Alice and Edward both took trays of food but left them untouched. I did the same with mine. I didn't want Edward to smell me with tater-tot breath or to touch greasy fingers. My empty stomach gurgled.

"Is it weird, you know, being back here?" I asked, trying to break my chain of thought.

Edward was in a pensive mood. "The days of a—one of us—bleed together. There is no beginning and no end, eternal – just like high school. The faces change but the patterns remain the same. Being here is like being anywhere, except for you, Bella."

"Oh." I blushed.

A heavy burst of rain suddenly hit the cafeteria windows. "I wonder how long it's going to rain," I said, thinking out loud.

"In Forks?" joked Alice. "Until approximately 2025."

"She's making that up," clarified Edward. "Alice doesn't care much for meteorology."

"No, I don't have time for a lot of hobbies – unlike some people."

"If one takes proper note of barometric pressure and wind direction then one can easily tell the cloud cover for the next day. Most importantly, one can tell if one go outside that day without—you know."

Alice leaned over towards me and winked. "I just check online."

"That's wonderful, Alice. I'm sure that will help you greatly when you are up in the mountains without a computer and are wondering whether you can run into town for some more hairspray." Edward smirked, considering this hand won. Alice rolled her eyes affectionately.

"I just borrow his when that happens."

The rain continued to beat against the windows. One of my hands had been resting on the table near Edward and he reached over and gently covered it with his own.

This was as good an opening as any and I gathered my courage. "Edward, will you tell me what happened last night? About the meeting?"

Edward sighed. "Bella, you don't need to worry about that. I've made sure that you and your father are protected."

"But what about Forks? The pack has been doing patrols through here, protecting everyone."

Edward and Alice just looked at one another and their silent communication made me angry. I deserved to know. The wolves were my friends and, unlike the angelic siblings sitting in front of me, they were flesh and blood and vulnerable.

"And what about the pack? Are they protected from Victoria in La Push? How are you going to coordinate with them? What about the treaty?"

Edward still didn't answer.

"Bella, the wolves can take care of themselves." Spoke Alice, softly. "You don't need to worry about them."

"I can't help it. I can't help worrying about my friends—I'm only human, after all." I spit the last part out in disgust. "I wish I wasn't. Then I would be able to know when things were happening and I could protect my friends instead of going off places and leaving them alone."

"Is that what this is about? Bella, your humanity is precious and my desire to protect _you_ and keep _you_ safe comes above everything else. And it does you credit that you worry about your friends, no matter _what_ they are, because it means you have a tender heart. But I hope you haven't forgotten what I told you last night." Edward drew his hand up to cradle my face. "I will not allow you to see those animals. They are dangerous and could injure you without thinking. You are so fragile--" he trailed off, wistfully.

It was all too much – as if my brain could no longer handle being so close to Edward. I had become desensitized and his very being overwhelmed my senses. While I knew he was only thinking of my safety, a small part of me rebelled his authority and if I didn't get out of this conversation, that small part was going to grow.

"I need to leave."

Edward and Alice rose to follow.

"Alone. I need to be alone for a few minutes—to think. I'll see you in class."

I walked out of the cafeteria as fast as I could. Not allowed? Not allowed to see Jacob? The pack had done so much for me over the last few months; this felt like a betrayal. They had kept me safe here while he was out wandering the world and hurting me for my own stupid good.

Rain continued to pound the windows. I hated the rain. Frustration and anger still crackled in my limbs. I stamped my foot and felt silly but a little better. What I really needed was air, rain be damned. The door leading out to the trailers beckoned and I pushed it open and stepped outside. Raindrops splashed on my head and shoulders, slid down my nose and pinged off my feet. I raised my face to the sky and let the rain wash away the anger. I shivered a little at the cold and shoved my hands into the pocket of my dark green and quickly dampening hoodie.

I must have been standing like for 10 seconds when I felt somebody tap me on the shoulder, hard. I turned around but there was nobody there.

A rustling in the pitiful shrubberies alongside the wall caught my eye. My heart began to beat a little faster. Dull thuds sounded behind me and I whipped around, my mind racing. With the rain coming down it was so hard to see. Could vampires be invisible? What should I do?

That same squishy sound started coming from the roof and I shook myself out of the startle and ran for the door. Before I could reach it, something fast and silver came racing at me from above. My hands automatically reached up to block it. Of course, I missed and it landed at my feet.

Frantic, I tripped and landed in Edward's arms. Alice was beside him holding an umbrella in one hand and in the other a King Salmon.

"Alice, why do you have a fish?"

"Look down."

My left sneaker had put a nice dent in the side of a cod. "Charlie is going to be pissed—he loves cod." Littering the grounds were a growing number of fish, falling from the sky.

The cafeteria had emptied out and people were gathered around the windows to watch the show. Edward herded me inside. We had barely made it past the crowd into when thunder boomed down the hallway.

Alice giggled. "It's too bad we're stuck in school today—it's the perfect day for a game."

Edward stopped. "I don't think that was thunder. Mike Newton just went outside to check. He says--"

"HEY BELLA! You were almost crushed by a giant whale."

In the end, I did get to see both Deputies Heyworth and Sanchez after all. They accompanied Charlie to check out the whale, which turned out to be a whale _shark_. Deputy Heyworth gave me a big wink, which Charlie didn't catch as he had his hands full trying to decide if the fish was evidence or could be taken home for dinner. I took advantage of his distraction too, and since school was let out early, I let Edward drive me home, nice and slow. (Alice volunteered to drive the truck.) He blasted the heater and the classical music station on the radio and we just sat in silence in front of my house and held hands, our fight forgotten, until Edward sensed Charlie was almost there.

"Your father is almost back. Remember, Bella, if you need me, I am just on the other end of your phone."

I didn't want him to leave, not when things were so nice. I sighed in disappointment and Edward chuckled.

"Oh, Bella, I will see you sooner than you think."

"You promise?"

"I do." He looked so solemn, like the statue of a young warrior cut down before his time and I wanted to kiss him. I leaned over to press my lips against his but he pushed me back.

"We must part for now but I won't say good-bye. Today, the finality of that cursed phrase feels too overwhelming. Instead, I must borrow from the French, _a bientot_, Bella." With an eerie quickness, he pulled my hand to his lips and pressed it against them. "Now, leave before my will escapes my control completely."

His eyes were dark and I was afraid for him.

I ran from his car and was inside my room before Charlie got home.

"Bells?" He called up the stairs. "You haven't started dinner yet, have you?"

I heard some banging and shuffling noises in the kitchen. Dinner! I hoped Charlie hadn't returned with a cooler full of fish and giggled a little in spite of myself at the thought of cooking a fish that had hit me on the head.

A knock sounded on my door. "Bells? Can I come in?"

"Sure." The door opened to reveal Charlie, still wearing his raincoat and boots. "I haven't started dinner yet."

"Good. How would you like to eat out?"

"I guess." A sudden wave of hunger hit, reminding me I hadn't eaten anything since breakfast and I put a hand to my stomach. "I am kind of hungry."

"Well," he said, drawing out the syllable and glancing around my room before finally resting his eyes on me. "Why don't you, uh, clean up and meet me out in the cruiser in about five minutes."

I looked down at my still slightly damp hoodie and jeans. Was that fishscales on my elbow? I wasn't vain but I also wasn't fond of the homeless fishwife look.

"Um, sure. We aren't going anywhere fancy, right?" Charlie just chuckled and shook his head no.

After quickly washing my face and hands, I threw on a clean pair of jeans, a plain black tank top, and a dark red hoodie. I smiled at my reflection and hoped I didn't smell too much like fish, as I brushed my hair out and put it up in a neat ponytail. What should I get at the diner? Fries were a must.

As promised, Charlie was waiting in the cruiser and we drove out. He had classic rock on and was singing along under his breath.

_Has he lost his mind? _

_Can he see or is he blind? _

_Can he walk at all _

_Or if he moves will he fall?_

"Got to love Sabbath."

I rolled my eyes. "Sure."

"This is good stuff here, Bells. Your mother has seriously neglected your musical education. You don't know your Sabbath from your Motorhead."

"Are those bands or something?"

"Are those bands?" He echoed me, disbelieving. "That's it, young lady. As part of your punishment we are going to spend some time bonding over real music."

"Do I have to sing? Because that would be punishment for everybody."

Charlie just chuckled. It made me happy to see him joking around and I smiled. I knew the last year hadn't been easy on him and the last week had been worst of all, his daughter had run off and one of his best friends had died. We were so alike in so many ways, not wanting to show weakness. I thought about what it would have been like for me if I had lost one of my best friends--like Jacob.

I looked out the window to distract myself from the tears that threatened. The rain had stopped and the trees blurred into a dark green mass in the mist. I watched them pass by. The only thing out this way was—

"This isn't the way to the diner," I said, stating the obvious. Had I missed something?

"Well, I thought since I picked up all that fish—and Billy's still in a bad way—it might be nice to cook up an old-fashioned fish fry—in honor of Harry." Charlie's eyes remained on the road.

I groaned. "Ew! Dad, you know where those fish have been! I'm not cooking--"

"Hey, Bells check up ahead there on the left, a doe and her fawn!" We were about to cross the border to La Push.

They darted across the road and Charlie slowed the car. I watched them run off into the woods and saw two pairs of amber eyes glinting in the headlights of the cruiser – eyes too high up off the ground to belong to a deer. Victoria? But who was the second vampire?

I checked my pockets frantically for Edward's cell phone but it wasn't there. Inwardly cursing, I realized I must have left it in the pockets of my other jeans. I craned my neck around to see if the eyes were following the car but there was nothing-- just trees.

"You alright there?"

"Yeah. Just—watching the deer."

Misreading my worry, Charlie smiled. "Don't worry about them, sweetie. Hunting season doesn't start for another few months. And that fawn will be able to take care of himself then."

"I guess." My heart was still pounding as we crossed the border into La Push. I kept my eyes glued to the woods outside the window.

"Yup. He'll be able to run pretty quick by then."

"Mmm hmm." Sam would have smelled them. The pack would be guarding the border. I was safe, I told myself.

"Maybe I'll get Junior to come out shooting once the season starts. You loved venison when you were little."

A figure lurched into the road up ahead; I couldn't see her face.

I shrieked and Charlie slammed on the breaks. "Why are you stopping?" I yelled. "She's going to kill us!" I reached over to the steering wheel, as if my touch alone would keep the car moving forward towards safety. "DRIVE!"

The woman in the road turned around to look at us. Her black eyes glowed and her hair flew wild in the wind. She smiled manically and stuck out her thumb.

"Oh, for the love of--" Charlie grumbled. "God damn that woman."

It was Raven Spirit, drunk off her head. She came around to the driver's side window and Charlie rolled it down.

"Going my way, chief?" She had the sing-songy rez accent.

"The only place I'm taking you is down to the station for being drunk and disorderly."

"Not tonight, chief, you ain't got no authority over me here."

"Well, then, why don't you go on home and sober on up."

"Sure, sure. After I finish this." She held up an open bottle of sludgy looking brown liquid and took a swig.

Charlie started to roll up his window but she stuck her hand in to stop him. Her fingernails were tattered and her hands filthy with dirt.

"Is that your girl, chief?" Raven's eyes were bloodshot and unfocused. Her boozy breath wafted into the car and I wrinkled my nose.

"Yeah. Now why don't you kindly remove your arm from this window before I remove it for you."

"I got a message for her from my grandmother. She says that---"

"Raven, whatever you have to say--" Charlie tried to interrupt but she continued.

"—the forest is angry. You let a bad thing in and now everything is wrong. It's like a cancer. There is a cancer." She took another drink and stuck her head down into the window so she could look directly at me. Her eyes were clear. "You need to listen for the signs."


	4. Chapter 4

_Boilerplate: The Twilight universe belongs to Stephenie Meyer – I'm just playing in it. I don't own anything except my laptop computer._

_Also, thank you for the kind comments! _

***

The lights were on at the Black house and I couldn't wait to get inside. Neither Charlie nor I had spoken a word since Raven Spirit had stumbled off into the forest. I turned Raven's message over and over in my mind. Something in her jumbled words had sounded so familiar—like I should know what she was talking about. _You need to listen for the signs._

Charlie opened his door to get out of the car and paused. "Don't let her worry you, sweetie. She was just drunk."

"I know."

"Well—good. You go on in first. I've got to get the cooler out of the trunk."

"We're not really eating those fish, are we? Because I don't think I want to waste my stay of groundation on sky-fish."

Charlie gave a little smile. "You'll change your mind when you smell them frying."

"We'll see." I smiled back and headed towards the comforting warmth of the Black house.

Billy had the door open before I could knock. He didn't look happy to see me, which I supposed was fair.

"Bella." He greeted me, sternly, and wheeled aside so I could enter.

"Hi, Billy," I replied. It looked like my old friend Guilt was not going to be leaving any time soon. How long before my penance was done? Didn't it count that I had done it all for love?

"I hear that boyfriend of yours is back." If looks could kill, I would have been dead and buried in the back yard.

"Yeah." I shuffled my feet a bit, feeling defiant.

"You are always welcome here as Charlie's daughter, Bella, but you'd better watch your step. You're playing a dangerous game." Billy looked out the door towards Charlie, who was making his way up the driveway with the cooler of fish. "Jake's in his room. Why don't you go find him?"

Without saying another word, I scuttled inside towards Jacob's room, desperate to get out of Billy's angry presence.

Jacob's door was open and I peeked inside. He was sprawled out on his bed, laying on his stomach, limbs akimbo, sound asleep. He looked so vulnerable. As per usual, he wasn't wearing a shirt and I admired the sculpted planes of his back, which rose and fell rhythmically with every deep breath. I wanted to stroke it.

Jacob's physicality could be overwhelming. He was so much taller and bigger than I was and at times we would just be hanging out or standing around and I would just _look_ at him and it was like my frame of reference would shift and I'd be reminded that he could easily overpower me if he wanted to. It scared me.

But when he touched me, like he was always doing, he made me feel so present in my body—so solid. Over the last few months, I had so often felt like I was going to float away—like I didn't exist except for the poisonous and depressing thoughts circling round and round. Jacob anchored me. When he touched me, I felt my heartbeat. I felt the blood circulate through veins. I felt human and that scared me, too.

I didn't want to disturb him but I couldn't face Billy again, so I just stood there. I wondered if this how Edward watched over me, wanting to touch me.

"Enjoying the view?" Jacob rolled over and opened one eye and then the other.

"What?" I blushed, startled. "I wasn't—I mean, Billy told me to come find you--"

Jacob yawned and stretched his long arms high above his head. He folded them under his head, showing off his admittedly attractive chest. He grinned at me. "Here I am."

I didn't move. I looked down, shy and embarrassed, remembering the awkward conversation of the day before.

"Are you just going to stand there breathing loudly in the doorway?" He teased, trying to get me to open up.

"I don't breathe loudly!" It worked. I looked up and smiled.

Jacob sat up. "So, what's happening, Bells?"

"Nothing," I said, automatically. Jacob just rolled his eyes at me.

"Nothing? Really. I should be asking you why you're here at all—not that I'm complaining."

"What do you mean?"

"You're making me nervous standing by the door. Come sit over here." He patted the bed beside him. I shook my head no and Jacob gave an exaggerated sigh. "I don't bite—unless you ask nicely."

I stayed where I was.

"Bells! You're killing me with those scared eyes! Do I look like the big bad wolf?" He jumped up and swept me up into a big hug. I relaxed into him, soaking up his warmth. I shivered and he pulled away. "All better?"

I nodded yes, my face flushed with warmth.

"Good." He tugged affectionately on my ponytail. "Let's go out to the garage while those two idiots cook us up some fish and you can tell me all about this 'nothing' you claim is happening."

He grabbed my hand and led me through the hallway, pausing at the front door to yell over to Billy and Charlie to come get us when dinner was ready, and we headed outside towards the garage.

It was raining again and the drops glittered in the glare of the floodlights and I thought of the two pairs of glittering eyes I thought I had seen in the forest and Raven Spirit's drunken warning. I drew closer to Jacob and he let go of my hand and put his arm around my shoulder.

I couldn't see anything past the white circle of the floodlights. If only I could see through the dark the way Edward did, I would be less scared. I would feel less small and insignificant. Every step I took sounded so loud in my ears, as if I was just calling out to predators to come and eat me. Something caught Jacob's attention and he stopped.

"Bells, look over there," Jacob spoke softly and pointed over past the garage towards the road.

"I can't see anything," I whispered back. "Where?"

"There." And Jacob leaned down until his head was even with mine and pointed again.

And the world stopped.

The rain stopped and the moon came out from behind the clouds throwing a spotlight down on a patch of ground off in the middle distance. A low buzzing sounded in my ears. There was a boulder; I wondered why I hadn't noticed it before. It stood up, slowly. Not a boulder but a giant, dressed in striped pants, a dark blue coat, and a straw boater hat. He removed his hat and placed it on his heart and then looked at me and spoke.

_You will see four signs. _

_You have seen one sign already._

_You will see fours signs._

_The woman from the Happy Home saw the fire._

_You must not lose your lifeblood or it will be too late._

_This is the last warning we can send._

And just as suddenly, the light went out and I felt the rain hit my head.

"There," Jacob said and his breath warmed my cheek.

A car came barreling down the road, weaving a bit, and startled the stag Jacob had been pointing at. It came running at us, antlers down. Before my shocked mind could even pick fight or flight, Jake had picked me up and put me down behind him, out of the way of the charging stag, which ran right past us and into the forest on the other side of the house.

"Okay--that was weird. Deer don't usually come this close to the house because of the wolf smell." Jacob turned around to look at me. "You okay, Bells? You've got a slack-jawed yokel look going on." He started singing "Some folk'll never lose a toe but then again some folk'll—like Bella the slack jawed yokel—Hello? Hilarious _Simpsons_ reference here."

"Jake, I think I'm going crazy."

"You're just figuring this out now? Have you met you before? You're totally nuts."

He took my hand again and let us inside the warm, familiar garage. The smell was comforting – motor oil and a musky scent that reminded me of Jake himself. He sat me down in my usual perch and began puttering around, checking on his various projects -- one of which, I supposed, was myself. I imagined Jacob popping open my rib cage and tinkering with the gears and levers inside.

"So," said Jacob, as he uncovered a dilapidated scooter and began laying his tools. "Are you going to tell me why you're here?"

"Didn't Billy tell you about the delicious sky-fish we're having for dinner? I'm saving the one I tripped over just for you." Joking was easier than talking, but my evasiveness seemed to frustrate him.

"Cut the crap, Bella. Your _boyfriend_ "—he twisted the word "—told me last night that you were not _allowed_ to see me anymore. I didn't realize you had thing for controlling jerks. Either that or it's a daddy complex. I mean, he is old enough to be your father. I wonder what Charlie would say if he knew Edward was giving you orders."

I hated this. I hated my complicated life and I hated that I was the one who had made it complicated. I was tired and scared and _hungry_, god damn it! All the emotions churned within me as I fumed, trying to formulate a response.

"I'm here because Charlie brought me, okay?" Tears began to slowly trickle down my cheeks. "I hate being like this. I hate crying. I hate having you mad at me."

Jacob kept tinkering with the scooter. "You know, there's no rule that says you have to choose things that make you miserable."

"But I don't know what to do." I looked down at my muddy sneakers. "Weird things have been happening, Jake. And not just that deer outside. And Edward won't tell me about the meeting. Or anything."

A soda entered my field of vision, held in Jacob's outstretched hand. I sniffled and took it-- root beer.

"Look, Bella, I know you don't want to hear this but what the hell—what do I have to lose, right?" He walked back towards the scooter, his back to me. "Do you want to know what happened last night? What your beloved leech said? He said that you were his. You belonged to him. He owns you. He's going to keep you pure. Like you were an action figure in a box or something— like your resale value would go down if you hung around too much with us poor, trashy wolves. And this from the guy who left you alone in the woods to die."

Jacob stopped and looked at me to gauge my reaction.

"Getting lost was my own fault and I'm not some toy!" I popped the soda open, angrily.

"They told us not to bother with patrolling anymore, that we need to stay on our side of the treaty line, and that Victoria isn't our problem."

I took a sip of soda and it tasted like ash in my mouth.

"So, Edward comes back and we're second class citizens again – just good little guard dogs who protect missy while masa's away." The last spiteful turn of phrase seemed to burn off his anger. "I thought we were friends, Bella." He sat down, cross-legged in front of me.

"What do you want me to say, Jake? Edward loves me and he wants to protect me but he doesn't control me. I'm here now, right?" I was trying to keep a reasonable tone, to be the adult, but I could hear the anger sneaking into my voice. How dare he try to turn Edward's love into something disgusting like that!

"Are you sure he's not going to hunt you down for defying his orders? He's probably waiting across the La Push border right now in his pretty-boy car just waiting to lock you up."

"God! That's such an exaggeration! You're just jealous because--"

"Why? Because I love you?" Jacob threw the unspoken words back at me, his face a mask.

My voice was shaking now. "Well—don't you? Which means no matter what Edward does, you're going to twist it into something bad."

"Yeah, well, maybe you're right and maybe in the deepest, darkest corners of Eddie's brain some tiny part of him remembers being a _man_ and remembers what it's like to love somebody like a person. That doesn't make how he treats you okay."

"Edward loves me and I love him."

"That's not love, Bells. That's you being one step away from the battered women's shelter. You think I'm just a kid – that I don't know anything. But you're the one who's naïve. You think I don't know what it meant when Embry would show up here after getting into a fist-fight with his mom's latest boyfriend and then we'd see her down at the General Store with a black eye? 'Oh, Embry', she says, 'Doug just really loves me—it was my fault.'"

"That's different," I pleaded with him. "I didn't know but it's not the same. Edward would never do that—those horrible things." I reached out to him, where he was still sitting in front of me but Jacob stood up out of my reach.

"Whatever. I said what I had to say. Friends tell each other the truth and as a _friend_, I'm telling you that your boyfriend treats you like crap."

"Jake--" I honestly don't know what I was going to say, what confessions or accusations would come spilling out. And it didn't matter because my sentence was interrupted by a loud wolf call.

"Shit!" cursed Jacob. "That's Jared. Wait here a sec--I've got to go see what's up." As he ran out the door, I wanted more than anything to run after him. I needed to work off the nervous energy from our fight. If I couldn't run, I would walk or jump up and down and stamp my feet.

I was mad at Jacob for questioning my feelings and mad at myself for letting him get to me. I told myself Jacob was just a jealous kid—this had nothing to do with me—but a small nagging voice kept rehashing the fight I'd had with Edward earlier that day. _I was not allowed to see Jacob._

For maybe five minutes, I paced around the garage--left foot, right foot—trying to get my emotions under control. With each footstep, the anger at Jacob dissipated only to be replaced with a growing worry at what might be happening with the pack. Just as I was talking myself into peeking outside, the door to the garage banged open and Jacob rushed in, soaking wet from the rain and trying pulling up damp shorts, which stubbornly clung to his hips.

"Jake! What's the matter? Is it Victoria?"

"We don't know. Paul and Sam picked up a leech trail along the border-- at least two, maybe more." Jacob looked tired. "It's not safe for you to leave tonight. Tell my dad. He'll figure it out." We stood awkwardly apart.

"Be careful, Jake. I'll—I'll save you some fish."

"You still have no faith in us. We'll get these leeches, you'll see." He flashed me a pained smile and took back off into the rain.

I followed him this time and dashed as quickly as I could back to the house. Billy and Charlie were still in the kitchen, up to their elbows in fish guts and a six-pack of Rainier.

"Hey, Bells," said Charlie, when he spotted me. "Are you ready for some of the best fish you'll ever taste?"

"Where's Jake?" asked Billy, anxiously, looking behind me. He must have heard the wolf call, too.

"Um, he had to go see Jared about some, uh, homework." This had to be the most pathetic lie of all time. How could I get Billy alone to explain? I prayed that his concern for Jacob would overcome any anger he had towards me. "And he asked me to find, uh, a book in his room. Billy, do you think you could help—maybe?" I pleaded at him with my eyes. Please, Billy.

My extremely lame subterfuge paid off and, although he flashed me a dubious look, Billy seemed to willing to play my game, leaving Charlie in the kitchen.

"Bella, what's going on" he said in a low voice.

"Vampires—along the border. Jake says it isn't safe for us to leave tonight but I don't know how we're going to get Charlie to stay here. Let the air out of his tires, maybe. I could sneak outside—I guess." Billy just looked at me like I was an idiot and I felt like an idiot and a jerk, for bringing this upon his house.

"That won't be necessary." He wheeled around and towards a low cabinet in the living room. Inside was what looked to be a nearly full half-gallon bottle of Jack Daniels.

"Leave it to me, Bella. Charlie isn't going anywhere tonight."

***

Thankfully, the fish was fried before the numerous toasts to Harry and other departed friends lowered the level of liquid in the bottle of Jack Daniels and I ate my fill of sky-fish while watching Billy and Charlie get slowly drunker and drunker.

After Charlie broke out Billy's old vinyl record collection and the two of them started singing along with the most depressing country music I'd ever heard in my life, I knew it was safe to make my exit for bed.

_I'm crazy—crazy for feeling so lonely._

_I'm crazy—crazy for feeling so blue…_

"Dad, I'm taking your keys." Charlie turned around with a horrified look on his face.

"Bells!" He looked like he was about to cry and for the first time I noticed the dark circles under his eyes. "You just came back, Bells. You can't leave me again so soon—you were gone for so long. All those years you stayed away and now you're back."

"I'm not going anywhere," said solemnly. "I just wanted to make sure you weren't driving tonight." Charlie was still watching me with sad eyes. "I promise. I'll be here in the morning – you can count on it."

Billy broke the maudlin mood. "You're such a lousy drunk, Swan."

"It's not my fault--it's Willie Nelson."

"Good night, Bella," said Billy. "And keep an eye out for monsters in your closet."

I hurried into Jacob's room and shut the door behind me. Scavenging a semi-clean t-shirt from deep within a dresser drawer to wear for pajamas, I changed, crawled into bed, and tried to block out Willie Nelson, Charlie, Billy, and my poisonous thoughts.

***

_I was at Newton's unpacking boxes. We had started selling baby dolls and I needed to get them on the shelves as quickly as possible. 'Edward,' I called out. 'Can you help me carry this?' _

_The doll was my size but she didn't' complain. 'It's okay,' she said. 'I'll just walk. I know the way to the front.'_

_Alright, I said, if you say so but shouldn't you get dressed first?_

'_I am dressed but you should probably put something on before Edward gets here.'_

_She was wearing my clothes and I was naked._

_I better go find him, I said, and walked through the stockroom door and into the forest. I knew where I was going—this was the way to Edward's house._

_The green canopy above me made the light seem thick and soupy and as I got closer to the Cullen's house it seemed to dim all together. A single light beamed out from the house, like a searchlight, looking for me._

_I'm here! I wanted to yell but I still wasn't wearing any clothes. I looked around and saw the doe watching me._

'_Bella, pay attention.'_

_Huge tropical flowers bloomed._

'_Bella!'_

_Palm trees sprouted all around me._

'_Bella—WAKE UP!'_

_***_


	5. Chapter 5

_Boilerplate: The Twilight universe belongs to Stephenie Meyer – I'm just playing in it. I don't own anything except my laptop computer._

_Also, Christmas vacation ends for me tonight, so updates will be much slower from here on out._

_And thank you, again, for the kind reviews. I really do appreciate it. The last piece of fiction of any sort I wrote before this was a graphic novel about a (fictional) boyband. Good times…_

***

"Bella, wake up." A warm hand was tapping my shoulder and I felt my bed sink down with the pressure of someone sitting.

"What time is it?" My sleep-addled brain seemed convinced that knowing the time would help make some sort of sense of my interrupted sleep.

"I don't know – like 4 or something." I rolled over to face whoever it was.

"Jake?" I blinked the sleep out of my eyes. A familiar face loomed above me.

"Who else would it be? You are in my bed."

"Do you need me to move?" I asked, still confused.

"No, but I thought you might want to know that I'm okay." Jacob was okay. The fight. The vampires. I sat straight up as adrenaline flooded my system.

"You're okay!"

"Yeah--" Jacob hesitated. "But Emily and Jared are missing."

"What? Missing how? What happened?"

"We don't know. We had to split up—at first there were two. One by where 110 crosses the border, just waiting, like an ambush, and the other circling around to hit us from the north. I thought we had it covered. Quil and Embry were watching the one by the road—Jared stayed with—I mean, stayed to watch over the houses—and Paul, Sam, and I ran north trying to catch the other one. But then Jared smells something weird in the woods outside the Clearwater place and goes to investigate and then nothing. He's out of our heads."

Jacob put his head in his hands and closed his eyes.

"So, then we lose the one we were chasing when it makes a dive for Ozette Lake. Those things don't breathe and who knows where or when it will come back up. Sam tells us to leave it for tonight, right, because we're getting close to Cullen territory, so we come back to look for Jared but we can't find him. I smelled him around the Clearwater place but then nothing—there's this gross burnt smell, though."

"What about Emily?" I asked, softly.

"She was gone when we got back. Sam tracked her into the woods—vampire. A third one. There's blood but no body. We searched the woods for a while but nothing."

Jacob raised his head and looked at me. "You and Charlie and Billy are okay, though, right? There was nothing weird here? I'd never forgive myself if--" he shuddered and I reached out and gently touched his arm. Jacob covered my small hand with his large one.

"Jake—I'm sorry about before."

"I know. Me, too." It came out as giant yawn and he stretched his arms high above his head. "Sam sent me back to get some rest. The leech by the border took off half an hour ago but Quil's going to watch until dawn then I'll go relieve him." He stood up slowly, as if the weight of the world rested on his broad shoulders. "Do you care if I steal one of these blankets? Charlie's passed out on the couch so I'm going to crash on the floor."

And he looked so tired and sad. Guilty feelings dawned anew. Victoria. This was all my fault and I couldn't even protect the people I cared about from danger. But, at least Jacob didn't have to sleep on the floor. I held out my hand and Jacob just looked at me, confused.

"Bells? Do you need something?"

"No. I mean, yes. Come here." And he did, taking my hand in his. "Good. Now lie down."

"What are you doing?"

I couldn't make out his face in the dark. "Just lie down. I'm not letting you sleep on the floor. Friends don't let friends do that—besides, you have no idea how loud Charlie can snore." I scooted over to the other side of Jacob's big bed and Jacob, too tired to argue with me, lay down beside me, facing away.

I snuggled up close, put one arm around him, and laid my head on his bare back. "It's going to be okay, Jake."

His slow breathing was the only answer I got.

***

When I woke up again, grey light illuminated the room and I was alone. I lay there for a few minutes, too warm to move, thinking over everything that had happened. Emily. Jared. Edward must be worried sick. I wondered if he had been tracking Victoria, too.

There was a knock on the door. "Bella? Are you awake?" It was Charlie.

"I'm up," I answered. He opened the door.

"Bells, I have some bad news." Charlie sounded as worn-out as he looked. His eyes were bloodshot and his face haggard. "Emily Young disappeared last night and the tribal police have asked for our help in finding her." He ran his hand through his hair. "Billy sure picked a hell of night to drink that handle of Jack."

"Can I help? I can make coffee or go get donuts or something."

Charlie gave me a grim smile. "That's sweet of you, honey, but I'd feel better if you were just safe at home until this blows over. I don't know where Jake went off to and I'm due over at Uley's to help organize the search. Billy's already over there. I'm going to see if Sanchez can come over to drive you home."

Being home alone was the last thing I wanted. He didn't understand how dangerous this was. I needed to think fast. "Wait! Dad! Can I maybe just go over to the Cullens' house until you're done?" I regretted the words as soon as they left my mouth, thinking fast had never been my specialty.

Charlie just sighed, too hungover to argue. "We'll figure something out. Now just hurry up and get dressed. Oh, and Bells? Have you seen my car keys?"

"Yeah, they're on the dresser."

He reached in and grabbed them and pulled the door shut. I threw my clothes from the day before back on. As I emerged into the hallway, I heard the squawking of Charlie's radio and the gurgling sound of the coffee maker. I ran through my list of reasons why I should be allowed to go to the Cullens' house to wait out this crisis.

1. Carlisle was a doctor.

2. Alice could help with my homework.

3. I really, really did not want to be alone.

But my preparations were for nothing because standing in Billy's kitchen, casually chatting with Charlie over a cup of coffee was Embry. He gave me a half-hearted wave as I entered the kitchen.

"Hey, Bella, haven't seen you in a while."

"Hi, Embry."

Charlie jingled his keys. "Bella, Embry here just stopped by to look for Jake and when he heard the situation, he offered to drive you home. I'll probably be at the station until late but I want you to stay put at home until this mess is cleared up and they find that girl."

Embry looked grim. I doubted he had gotten much sleep the night before, either.

"But, Dad--" I said, my carefully rehearsed reasons slipping away.

"Sweetie, I have to go. You be safe." Charlie patted me on the shoulder and slipped something into my hand. It was a ten-dollar bill. "Why don't you stop and get something to eat on the way." He turned to Embry. "Call, you watch yourself. No speeding with my girl in the car."

"No, sir." Embry was in no mood to joke.

"Well, then, kids—I'll see you later. Bells, call me if you need anything."

We were silent until Charlie's cruiser was pulling out of the driveway. I kept my back to Embry, busying myself with putting the dishes in the sink and wiping off the countertops. I hated being a burden on everyone. Useless Bella Swan. I felt the dark storm clouds of self-pity wash over me, unable or maybe just unwilling to stop them.

"Bella?" Embry asked, tentatively. "Are you ready to go?"

"So, you're my watchdog today?" I hated the bitter tone to my voice.

"What's your problem?" Embry snapped at me. Apparently, he wasn't too impressed with it either.

"I don't know. I'm sorry. I just—I hate this. I hate being so useless." I threw the sponge down in the sink and wiped my hands on my pants.

"Well, get over it. I don't want to be here any more than you do. I'd much rather Jake was babysitting your ass and I was out killing leeches but he's busy guarding the border, so--here I am."

"Oh." The sharp words from the usually reserved Embry hit me like a gallon of cold water.

"Yeah. So, why don't you take your head out of your butt and get in the car and we can stop at the General Store and pick up breakfast or whatever on the way to Forks. I want to get off the rez as soon as possible."

Chastised into silence, I followed him out to the Rabbit and climbed in the passenger's door. Embry dug through the glove compartment and pulled out a handful of cassette tapes and plunked them in my lap.

"Here, Vampire Girl, you're in charge of tunes."

"Um—Embry?" I sifted through the tapes, each carefully labeled in Jacob's handwriting: 'Emo,' 'Old Skool Rap,' 'Driving Mix 3'…

"What?" He started the car and began backing out of the driveway. " Ugh—not Mix 3—that one is played out—try Jake's rap mix."

I put the tape in the deck and Embry cranked the volume until it was too loud to talk and rolled down his window. It was only a ten minute ride to the General Store but ten minutes can be a long time when you're trapped in a small car with a large werewolf who is not exactly pleased with you.

So much had happened in the last week and I hadn't had time to properly process it. Edward loved me; I was supposed to become a vampire; Victoria wanted me dead; Jacob was mad at me; Charlie thought I was going to run off and elope at any second; Emily and Jared were missing— What was I supposed to do?

I couldn't do anything.

I couldn't do anything about anyone except myself.

And I certainly wasn't helping anyone by wallowing in guilt and self-pity. I thought about Renee, packing up and following her happiness. About Emily, lost in the woods. And me. I was here.

What could I do? I didn't have superpowers or anything but I could cook. Maybe I could make food for the searchers and the pack.

A tiny seed of understanding planted itself in the back of my mind and began spreading.

Maybe I wasn't strong or big or tough but I had a mind. I had been self-centered but I wasn't stupid. So, I couldn't help fighting or guarding but I could help by looking things up. What if we were missing something important? There must be a clue buried deep somewhere. How did Victoria get so strong? Hadn't she just been a normal vampire just a few months ago? And who were the two vampires last night? What about Raven's weird message? And what about my freaky mind powers?

I was determined not to be just a china doll who needed protecting and just because I wasn't a vampire (yet), it didn't mean that I had to do nothing.

By the time we pulled into the parking lot, I was feeling resolute and oddly cheerful given the circumstances.

Embry shut off the car and looked at me warily. "I'd better come in with you."

"Okay!" I chirped. Embry rolled his eyes and I jumped out of the car. A couple of grubby looking men were hanging around outside.

The store was quiet except for the buzz of the florescent lights. There was an elderly American Indian man behind the counter. He was wearing striped pants and a dark blue blazer and had a long white braid. He was organizing the donuts in a glass case.

I stopped suddenly and felt Embry ram into my back.

"What now?" he asked, exasperated.

'Oh, that guy is wearing the same outfit as the giant from my dream-vision last night' was not a reasonable thing to tell somebody.

"Um—nothing. Just déjà vu, I think." Unless I was insane, which was a distinct possibility.

"You're driving me crazy here, Swan."

"Who is that guy behind the counter?" I whispered.

"What—Junior?" Embry whispered back. "What about him?"

"I don't know. Just—I think I know him."

"Well, I think I know those donuts, so if you'll excuse me--"

"Wait!" I put my hand on his arm to stop him. I needed to follow my hunch.

"WHAT?"

"My treat?" He nodded and I went up to the counter.

Junior either hadn't seen me or was ignoring me. His weathered hands were carefully arranging the donuts in the case, picking up each one with the little metal tongs, chocolate frosted next to chocolate frosted.

"Excuse me,' I said, timidly. Junior stopped what he was doing and looked up at me.

"Yes, young lady? What can I help you with?" His voice was shaky with age.

"Can I get some donuts?"

"How many do you want?"

"Six?" I looked over my shoulder at Embry, who raised ten fingers, then two.

I turned back to Junior. "Twelve--and all kinds."

Junior smiled at me and began assembling the box. "If you'd like some milk, there is some in the case. You'll give it a happy home--" My stomach lurched. _A Happy Home_. "—a happy home, a happy home. I went to the happy home until they burned it down." I looked back at Embry again.

"Milk?" I mouthed. He shook his head yes and went to fetch two pints.

"Junior?"

"Yes, young lady." He had a kind eyes and a sweet smile.

"Where was the happy home?"

"Chemawa." Embry reappeared with the milk and placed it on the counter. "That will be $6.49 all together."

I paid up and Embry picked up the donuts and milk. We walked back outside. A pick-up truck was pulling into the lot. And Embry began to walk faster.

"Well, well—" came slurred voice from behind us. "--if it isn't little Embry. And who is this? You finally got yourself a teepee creeper. Maybe she'd like to see what a real Indian man can do."

"Keep walking, Bella," hissed Embry. He handed me the food and turned around to face the man who had emerged from the truck.

"What do you want, Arnold?" Embry's voice was hard. I reached the car and stood behind it, watching. The man he was talking to was middle-aged, with his hair in two braids, wearing dirty jeans and a Harley Davidson T-shirt, and clearly drunk.

"I want a taste of that white--" Embry punched him in the face, not hard. Certainly not as hard as he could have because Arnold stood back up.

"You think because you start hanging around with Sam Uley you're better than me? I'll show you how real men fight."

Before Embry had a chance to knock him down again, Junior emerged from the General Store, carrying a shotgun.

"Boys. It's not time for Recreation Period. You all, get!"

Arnold puffed out his chest, "You don't scare me, old man." Embry took the opportunity to kick Arnold's feet out from under him.

The scruffy guys sitting in front of the store started jeering and Arnold, humiliated, but acting as if everything he had done was on purpose, climbed back into his truck and took off.

Embry unlocked the Rabbit and we both climbed in. I handed him a donut – chocolate frosted.

"Thanks," he said with his mouth full.

"You're welcome." I handed him some milk.

If he didn't want to talk about it, I certainly wasn't going to ask. Maybe Arnold was one of his mother's ex-boyfriends. He turned the music back up and we ate donuts, drank milk, and didn't speak again until we crossed the border.

The day was rainy and gray and the side of the road didn't offer much stimulation. I stared out the window anyways, and began planning my afternoon of research. Charlie might buy a tiny lie about having to go the library for a school project. I finished my last bite of donut.

"Bella?" The tape had clicked over from one side to the other, creating a little bubble of silence. Embry turned it off.

"Yeah?"

"Can I ask you something?"

"I guess."

"Do you like Jake?" Embry's eyes were on the road and his hands at two and ten on the wheel.

"Of course, I do." And it wasn't a lie. My fingers were sticky with sugar and that fact seemed unreasonably important.

"Maybe you should tell him that. He's hurting pretty bad right now."

"I'll take it under advisement." I paused. "Can I ask you a question?"

"Sure."

"Can we go to the library?"

"You are so weird. What do you have to do there?"

"I have to look some stuff up."

"Can't you look stuff up at home?"

"Please?"

Embry thought about it. "If you clear it with your dad. I don't want Chief Swan hunting me down. I think he's scarier than Victoria."

"Cool! I'll call him when we get home. I need to change, anyways."

"The library? Really?" And Embry gave the first genuine smile I'd seen from him all day.

When we pulled up in front of my house, Embry insisted on going in first—in case there was a trap or something. We still didn't know what had happened to Emily and Jared and Embry was taking no chances.

He made me wait in the front hall until he had checked both floors.

"Not a leech in sight, although _your_ room stinks like one which means Quil owes me 20 bucks."

"Glad I could help. That was probably Edward looking for me-- I hope." I was suddenly unsure. "You don't think it was Victoria? Here?"

"Nah—It didn't smell like Victoria. I don't know who it was but I'm thinking you had the right idea about the library. Can I use your phone?" I pointed him in the right direction and went upstairs to change.

I opened the door to my room cautiously. Nothing seemed out of place. My pile of dirty clothes from the day before was still on the floor. The window was wide open, fluttering the curtains in the breeze. I went to shut it and noticed the floor was damp with rain.

First things first, Edward must be worried sick. I dug through the pockets of my dirty jeans and pulled out the cell phone. 27 missed calls—all from Edward.

My stomach tensed. He must be furious. I knew I hadn't done anything wrong—I had never agreed to his stupid prohibition after all—but that didn't change the fact that Edward was not going to be happy about me spending the night in La Push. I knew I had to call him back but I just couldn't. I would change first. Yes.

I put on a clean pair of corduroys, a new addition to my wardrobe since moving to Forks, a tank top and a flannel shirt. The phone with its 27 missed calls looked at me.

I brushed my hair and looked at myself in the mirror. Feeling a bit whimsical, I pulled my hair up into two low pigtails. My reflection looked at the phone.

I dug through my desk and pulled out a notebook and some pens. I also grabbed the book of Quileute Legends I bought in Port Angeles last year. I never did finish reading it, maybe there was something useful in there. I shoved all of it into my book bag.

I picked up the phone and dialed Edward's number.

It rang and a huge burst of classical music started playing in my room.

I dropped the phone and screamed.

***


	6. Chapter 6

_Boilerplate: The Twilight universe belongs to Stephenie Meyer – I'm just playing in it. I don't own anything except my laptop computer._

_Thank you to everyone for sticking with me! I know Bella can be a bit whiny and self-absorbed but that's why we love her, right?! *ducks from rotten tomatoes*Just kidding! That's why we love the wolf pack for calling her on it!_

***

The sound of strings and horns filled the room.

I left my phone on the floor, dashed to the door, and ran straight into Embry.

"Bella, what--" I couldn't find the words fast enough, so he shoved me out of the way and into the hall. Gingerly looking around the room, Embry picked up the phone I had dropped and ended the call.

The music stopped. My heart was pounding.

Embry walked over and handed it to me. "Try calling again."

Still shaken, I nodded and pressed the button.

The music played. "Don't hang up--" said Embry. He stood listening and after a few seconds, he got down on his hands and knees and began fishing around under my bed. He emerged with a cell phone – the twin of mine – and passed it to me. I ended my call.

The screen on the phone was cracked but I could see that a picture of me sleeping was the background image.

"He wanted you to find this." Embry said.

"He's just worried," I tried to justify, but it sounded weak, even to me. "I'm sure Edward will explain everything when I see him."

Embry just shrugged his shoulders and moved to go back downstairs. "I wonder else he has hidden around your room – do you want me to check under your floorboards?"

I looked at Edward's phone again. The crack on the screen made my sleeping face look distorted. I wondered when he had taken the picture. All those months last year, Edward had watched me sleep and I had no idea. I never really stopped to think about it before but it made me feel vulnerable. Edward could climb in here whenever he wanted with or without my permission. I shivered and tried to push the thought from my mind. Edward would never do anything to hurt me, I told myself.

The address book listed Alice's number and I carefully added it to my phone. I shut Edward's phone off and stuck it my bag, with my other stuff. Even if Edward was mad, Alice would understand, wouldn't she?

I dialed. The phone rang – voice mail. I breathed a sigh of relief. _This is Alice. I've already seen you call me but if you feel the need to leave a message, you may do so, and I'll get back to you as soon as I can._

"Hi Alice. It's Bella. I just wanted to let you know that I'm okay. In case, you know, you were worried. Tell Edward."

And then I called Charlie. It took every ounce of persuasive power I had plus the promise that Embry would be with me but I wore him down. I was granted permission to go to the library for schoolwork because, as I carefully explained, being grounded shouldn't come in the way of academics – or in the way of figuring out what was happening in Forks.

Embry got the Rabbit running while I locked up the house – including every window I could find. Jake's rap mix was blaring from the stereo as I threw my bookbag in the back seat and jumped in. Another comfortably conversation-free drive brought us to the Forks branch of the public library. In Phoenix, I had always been such a big reader but when I met Edward, all my hobbies had fallen by the wayside and when Edward left the rest of my life had gone with him. I had spent the last few months slowly patching myself back together but I hadn't gotten as far as restarting my reading habit. I couldn't remember the last time I had looked for books at the library.

We pulled into the parking lot. It had started raining again. A tall American Indian girl with short hair had taken shelter outside the library entrance and was smoking cigarettes A young dad and his two kids, their hoods up and backs to us, were walking back to their car, which was parked next to a shiny Volvo towards the back of the lot.

I gathered my courage.

The library was a zoo. A herd of animals--lions, tigers, bears – a whole variety of fierce creatures were finishing up storytime and in the center of the melee was Angela, attempting to wrangle the mass of small children in masks back to their parents. Like two stones in a river, Embry and I stood side-by-side while the crowd swirled around us.

A tiny lion—a little girl in a purple dress—clutched my leg. She looked up at me and pointed off towards the reading room. There sat Edward, in a perfectly ironed Oxford and khakis, nonchalantly reading a novel.

And then he was standing in front of me.

"Bella," he said, I swooned just a little bit. "You can send the guard dog home now."

Edward overwhelmed my senses, like he always had, and while I had longed for all those months to see him, the reality was so different than the image I had drawn up to replace him. The Edward of my fevered imaginings had been a source of comfort and a voice of self-preservation. He didn't, for example, stare haughtily at my friends, which is what the Edward standing in front of me was doing right now.

"Is that what you want, Bella?" Embry asked me. His voice betrayed no emotion, anger or otherwise.

No. "Yes." The little lion clutching my leg ran off to play with a crow dressed in red overalls.

"Fine." And he walked away. I felt a blast of cool air hit me as the door swung open and closed again and shivered involuntarily.

Edward leaned in close. "Are you going to tell me what this is about?" His breath chilled my ear and stirred up sparks of desire in my chest. The rational part of my brain was shutting down.

"Um—I had homework?"

"Your father lets you run around with _dogs_ but won't let me court you." Edward drew back a little and ran an icy finger around my ear and down my neck to the hollow of my throat. He tilted my face up to look directly into his. "Do you know what that mutt was thinking? Violent thoughts about one his mother's former _paramours_. How immature."

His eyes were a warm golden brown and his voice was sticky-sweet. I wanted nothing more than to give in and have him lead me outside and devour me whole.

"Come with me, Bella. I'm the only one who will keep you untouched by danger."

I took a step toward him and he smiled.

Edward took my wrist in his cold hand and it felt like a cage door clicking shut.

"Good girl."

We turned to walk out. With his free hand, Edward pushed the library door open and it swung out. The Indian girl caught it. She tossed her cigarette butt on the ground and pushed her way past Edward, brushing hard against me. My balance is never the greatest, even on one of my good days, of which this was not. I fell over backwards and Edward dropped my wrist. Rain, carried on a gust of wind, hit my face like a cold shower.

The girl reached down her hand. "Sorry," she mumbled. Her hand was warm and I clung to it. She pulled me up like I weighed no more than a child.

Angela, who had shaken herself free of her charges, came running over. "Bella! Are you okay?"

I dusted myself off and wiped my face on my sleeve. Edward had shut the door. "I'm fine." I smiled weakly.

"Are you sure?" She looked over at Edward, her face concerned. He was glaring at the tall girl, who was glaring back.

"Do you want to, maybe, come sit down back in the staff area? I can make you some tea."

Edward answered for me. "That won't be necessary, Angela, we were just leaving."

"Maybe you should let her answer for herself," said the Indian girl, with barely contained rage.

"What Bella does is none of your business, _bitch_." Edward answered smoothly, emphasizing the word.

I closed my eyes. The acrid smell of cigarettes mixed with Edward's naturally sweet aroma and made my head pound. The lure of an afternoon spent in an Edward-haze paled as my head cleared and I remembered Jared and Emily and the people who loved them. What would Renee do? What would Charlie do? What would Jake do?

"Angela, do you think you could give me a ride home?"

Angela gave me a shaky smile and the Indian girl laughed, spitefully.

"Bella, I won't leave you alone like this. You are coming with me." Edward grabbed my arm.

"No!" I tried to pull away but Edward held me tight.

"Don't make me carry you, Bella."

"Is everything alright, girls?" Our scuffling had drawn a librarian over from the front desk. She looked over her glasses at Edward. "I believe this young lady just told you to let her go." She paused. "I know you - the Cullen boy, right? Would you like me to call your father? I'm sure he would be thrilled to come discuss this little incident in person."

Edward didn't move. He continued staring down Mrs. Patel, reading her mind. Whatever he saw he didn't like it and dropped my arm.

"Bella, will you come with me?" Edward asked, politely, looking every inch the ideal gentleman.

Yes. "No."

Edward walked away and it hurt to watch him.

Mrs. Patel gave Angela permission to let us have tea in the staff room, assuming that we three girls were friends. And the Indian girl made no move to correct her.

Angela led us back past the front desk and down the stairs to the staff area, where there was a small kitchen area. She filled the electric kettle with water and plugged it in. None of us said anything. The Indian girl stood awkwardly to one side of the kitchen and watched as Angela got out three mugs and three teabags.

We waited for the water to boil.

"I'm Angela, by the way," said Angela, breaking the ice. "I go to Forks High School with Bella. You are?"

The Indian girl looked at me and then at Angela. "I'm Leah. A friend of a friend of Bella's."

"Leah Clearwater?" I asked, dredging up a name from my memory--Harry's daughter.

"Yeah." She looked away, shutting down any further lines of questioning.

The kettle began to whistle and Angela carefully poured out three cups. We took them to a rickety table and sat down.

"So, Bella--" began Angela "—um, not that I mind you visiting but why are you here?"

"This is going to sound really silly." I looked over at Leah, who was idly playing with her cup. "But, I needed to do some research on some--" I searched for the right word. "—legends?"

"Like local legends? Is this for school?" Angela seemed genuinely interested. "I've always loved that stuff."

"No, it's a personal project." And then I made a spontaneous decision. "Would you like to help?"

"Yes!" She smiled. "What are you looking up? Quileute stories?"

Leah perked up at this. "They're not all legends," she said, conspiratorially, and smirked at me. "There is this one we tell about these pale men – white as snow." My jaw dropped. Did she know? I looked over at Angela, who seemed unsure about where this was going. Leah continued, "Their souls weren't though – evil through and through. They took our land and shoved us on a teeny reservation and then named their professional sports teams after us. Spooky, huh? It's a traditional story we tell around the sacred fire in order to scare the kiddies."

What was I supposed to say to that? Leah seemed to be deliberately trying to make us uncomfortable and it was working, on me at least.

"I think I prefer the one I saw upstairs in the romance section – 'Savage Torment' or something. Seems like it would have a better ending," said Angela, her face flushing a little bit.

Leah raised her eyebrows skeptically.

Angela kept a straight face.

"You're all right, library girl." Leah said finally, giving a small smile. Angela smiled back.

"Yeah--those aren't exactly the kinds of 'legends' I'm interested in," I said, not exactly sure what was happening. "Is there maybe like a section I could browse through? Local history or something?"

"Sure! Mrs. Patel will have to let you in, though. We keep it locked."

"Sounds like we'll have fun this afternoon," sighed Leah.

"We?" I questioned.

"Yeah, we. My friend _Jacob_ won't be too happy if I let you, uh, research alone."

Angela glanced between the two of us, confused.

I sighed and accepted Leah's offer with what I hoped was more grace than I had this morning. It had been a long day. We finished up our tea and Angela sent Leah and me over to Mrs. Patel with a promise that she would find us before the library closed.

The local history section was tucked away in a corner of the basement, next to the branch director's office. Stacks of ancient telephone directories and small pamphlets written by esteemed society ladies and eminent local figures littered the shelves. I had no idea where to start.

Leah whistled. "What are you going to do? Call up some dead guy from 1880—or are you trying to find your boyfriend's home address?"

"No--"

"Don't get your panties in a twist, Swan, I'm just here as muscle. Jake's orders. For some reason, he wants you alive."

"Wait—so are you are a, you know, too?"

Leah rolled her eyes. "Are you for real?" She picked up a random book. "Look, you do what you have to do and I'll sit over there--" she pointed to a comfortable looking chair "—and probably fall asleep."

I started unpacking my backback, laying out my notebooks and my book of Quileute legends.

"Your friend is nice," said Leah. "The human one—not the leech. He's a dick." She waited for me to respond. "I wonder if his dick is as white as he is. Does it just lay there? Because he's dead?" I concentrated on laying my pens out, not wanting to give her the reaction she was looking for.

"I'm sorry about your dad." I said, finally.

"You don't know shit about my dad, so why don't you just keep playing Romeo and Juliet with your bloodsucking boyfriend and don't try to talk about things you don't understand." Leah turned the chair so it faced away from me and threw herself in it, angrily.

Rather than risk another angry outburst, I took the easy way out and let her fume in silence. I had a couple of hours to dig through the files and books and I intended to use every second. Opening my notebook and turning to a fresh page I wrote down everything I remembered from the last few days – the fish rain, the giant, and what I remembered about Jared and Emily's disappearance.

And then there was the man at the General Store – Junior? What had he told me? Chemawa? And something about a fire.

I'd start there. Work my way backwards. I randomly pulled a volume of the shelf, _Some Early Years in the Rain Forest_, and began reading. The book was full of anecdotes about life on the Olympic Peninsula in the 19th century and I dove in and didn't emerge until Angela came down to fetch us.

Leah insisted on riding home with me and if Angela thought it was weird, she didn't say anything. And she didn't say anything about how I turned in my seat to peer into the woods looking for glowing amber eyes and checked the mirrors for signs of a Volvo.

Thankfully, Charlie wasn't home when Angela pulled up in front of our house --what he didn't know about my afternoon's adventures wouldn't hurt him.

Before Angela drove off, she shyly gave me her phone number – in case I had forgotten – and told me to call her whenever I wanted to work on my project. Leah watched, impassively.

Together again, the silence was awkward. I called Charlie to check in – he was still helping with the search for Emily. My stomach growled. Maybe Leah would act nicer if I made dinner.

I went into the living room, where she was watching TV.

"They haven't found Emily yet," stated Leah, flatly.

"No. They're still looking." I couldn't believe it hadn't occurred to me before. "Do you know her?"

"She's my cousin."

Remembering her outburst the last time I offered sympathy, I did the next best thing. "I'm making dinner," I said.

"Good," she replied. "I'm fucking starving."

The kitchen felt safe-- comforting, even. I wandered around pulling out what I needed to make a casserole. We still hadn't gone grocery shopping, so pickings were slim - an onion, some rice, frozen hamburger.

I was in the middle of sautéing when a knock sounded on the front door. I held my breath; my heart started beating faster. The onions sizzled.

Leah appeared in the front hallway. "Am I your maid now?" she called over.

"Wait--" I yelled out to stop her but it was too late and the "I don't know who it is and it could be a very polite axe-murderer because that is how my life is going these days" got stuck in my throat as she opened the door and walked out.

I forgot the onions. How could I have been stupid enough to trust her? Just because she said she knew Jacob!

Spatula in one hand and the other still encased in an ovenmitt, I ran over to the door. I don't know what I was expecting to do when I got there but I had to do something - like shut the door and barricade it, which seemed like my best option.

I would face down whatever monster lay in wait outside and shut the door in his or her face. Heart pounding, face flushed, and smelling strongly of onions, I put my plan into action and slammed the door on Jacob Black, who was outside on the porch talking softly to Leah.

I opened the door again.

They were both looking at me.

I was still holding the spatula.

Jacob nodded at Leah and she took off jogging down the road. I stared after her for a few seconds, until she was out of sight and when I turned back to Jacob, he was staring warily at me.

"Um, Bella--?" I blushed when he said my name. "I think something is burning."

"The onion!" I raced back in to the kitchen and turned off the burner. Jacob followed me in. He looked tired.

"Was that supposed to be dinner?"

"Part of it." I sighed. "I'm going to have to start over."

"Do you want some help?" Jacob sounded unsure of himself. "I could just—I don't know. I really just need to do something to keep from thinking."

And my heart ached. I handed him my spatula.

Leaving him standing in the middle of the kitchen, I dug up another onion and wiped down the cutting board and knife. I placed them all on the kitchen table.

I took Jacob's hand. It was warm. I sat him down in front of the onion, keeping one hand on his shoulder, standing behind him.

"You can start by chopping this."

Jacob nodded and started to peel the onion. His shoulder rose and fell as he finished peeling the onion and began chopping.

The sting of the onion made my eyes tear up but I didn't move away. I just laid my head down to rest on top of Jacob's.

He finished chopping and sighed. He laid down the knife and reached his arms up to circle me and pull me closer.

"Are you going to take a nap or are we going to make dinner? Because if I don't eat soon, I'm going to drop dead of hunger and then you have your very own wolf to taxidermy and use as a pillow."

And at that, I threw my arms around his neck and hugged him tight. If there was one thing in this world I could count on, it's that Jacob Black did not wallow in a dark mood.

"Hey! If this is the response I get for chopping an onion, I'm going to be over here all the time doing this. You'll have so much onion you won't know what to do. Charlie will have to switch jobs because all the kids will smell him coming and take off before he can bust them for TPing Mrs. Patel's lawn again."

I giggled. Jacob let me go and I went over to the stove to clear off the burned mess from before.

"What are we going to do with these onions, Bells? I hope there are some other ingredients to this masterpiece of yours."

The kitchen phone rang.

Jacob looked at me. "Are you going to answer it?"

I was tempted to let it go to the answering machine but what if it was Charlie? I picked it up.

"Hello?"

"Bells, honey?" It was Charlie.

"Yeah."

"I have some good news. Emily was spotted up by an old logging road near Alien's Bend in Ozette Lake. Someone called it into the station. Said there was a girl who matched Emily's description wandering around up there dressed in a nightgown."

"Is she okay?"

"We don't know – we're on our way up there right now."

"Be careful, dad."

"I will. And you, too. Until we know what happens I don't feel safe leaving you alone. Did Jake find you?"

"Yeah. He's here now. We're cooking dinner."

"Good. You make sure he stays there until I get home."

"I will."

***


	7. Chapter 7

_Boilerplate: The Twilight universe belongs to Stephenie Meyer – I'm just playing in it. I don't own anything except my laptop computer._

_The wood sorrel mentioned is really Oregon oxalis (sometimes called redwood sorrel) but I figured Bella probably wouldn't know the term. The plants look like little shamrocks and have heart-shaped leaves. They grow as part of the underbrush in the temperate rain forest in the area surrounding Forks._

_Also, I use one small direct quote from "Eclipse," chapter 3. You will know it when you see it - I don't want to give too much away._

***

In the end, Charlie didn't come home that night. Jacob and I waited up as long as we could, snuggled on the couch, watching bad TV. My eyes grew heavier and heavier, until not even the laugh track of sitcom re-runs could keep me awake.

***

_The band was warming up. I picked up my trumpet and looked at it anxiously. I had forgotten how this song went. Maybe I can just fake my way through, I thought. The doe sitting next to me just shrugged her shoulders._

_The conductor tapped her baton on the music stand to get our attention. Esme! I waved and she looked at me confusedly. 'Bella, it's time to play.'_

_The sitka spruce trees towered behind her._

***

I was warm and comfortable, wrapped in a soft blanket, lying on the living room couch.

Slowly I opened my eyes, breathing in deeply and savoring the earthy flavor. The air hung heavy with mist and a soft grey light filled the room. Where the living room rug usually covered the floor, a thin layer of soil lay instead. Big bushy lady ferns had sprouted around the TV, their fronds moved slightly in the breeze from the open window. Fuzzy green stair step moss had grown over the bookcase and up the wall.

Across the room, Jacob lay fast asleep, shirtless, in Charlie's recliner. I walked over to him through the ankle deep wood sorrel, their clover-like leaves tickling my bare feet. One of Jacob's arms hung off the chair and his fingers trailed in the dirt.

"Jacob," I whispered, and tapped his arm. "Wake up."

"What?" he mumbled, his eyes still closed.

"Um—you should probably see for yourself."

"It's not Charlie and his shotgun, is it?"

"No, definitely not."

Jacob opened his eyes, looking first at me and then around the room.

"Bells, I hate to break it to you, but I've seen you before and while you do look adorable wearing my old soccer T-shirt, unless you are suddenly going to bring a plate of bacon out from behind your back, I'm going back to sleep."

"But—" I looked down. I was standing on the carpet. "--my feet are dirty."

"Yeah, well so is Quil's mind-- and your truck-- and a ton of other things. What do you want me to do?"

"I don't know. When I got up it was different—there were plants everywhere, like I was out in the forest. And I walked over here and now my feet have dirt on them."

Jacob sat up and peered down at my feet and then looked back up at me, skeptically. He brought his hands up to rub the sleep from his face and eyes. "It's too early to be playing practical jokes, Bells, and this is a really weird one."

"No—it's not. I'm not making it up! There were plants! Big ferns under the window!" And something about that caught his attention. Jacob went over to the open window and I followed close behind him. A fine layer of soil covered the windowsill. Jacob ran a long finger through it, thoughtfully.

He dropped to a crouch and began investigating the floor underneath the window. I started to take a step back and he grabbed my ankle, tipping my foot up so he could see the sole. I held my breath as he ran his warm thumb slowly down the length of my foot, starting at the big toe and delicately tracing the arch and I trembled a little as his thumb continued its journey around the curve of my heel. Jacob dropped my foot and I stumbled backward, my heart beating a little faster than usual. He stood up and held out his hand--on his open palm was a sorrel leaf.

"Do you want to explain this?" he asked me.

"I think—I think it's the second sign," I stuttered out.

"_Second_ sign? Second?" Jacob started to say something else and then paused. "We'll finish this later." He shoved the leaf in his pocket.

I heard steps outside and a key jingling in the lock of the front door. Charlie. The front door opened and I ran to greet him.

Jacob, his shirt having suddenly reappeared, followed close behind me.

Charlie moved slowly, like he was walking through water. "Bells. Jake. I didn't think you'd be up yet."

"I just woke up. Is there any—any news about Emily?"

"No, and we searched all around that lake last night. And it's worse. The Bronson kid—Jared—didn't come home last night, either, and the g.d. tribal police don't want to do anything about it. I told Junior that he needs to let me call in the State boys but he saying they want to keep it local."

Charlie started into the kitchen and I followed him. "Junior? The guy from the General Store? He works with the tribal police?"

"Who?" Charlie had his head in the fridge and was pulling out the leftover casserole Jake and I had made last night. "No, old Junior has worked there for as long as I can remember. I'm talking about Junior Dickey."

He pulled out a plate, shoveled some casserole on it, and stuck it in the microwave.

"How do you know old Junior?" asked Jacob asked me.

"Oh—Embry and I stopped for donuts at the General Store yesterday."

"He's a strange one, alright," said Charlie. "He's been an old-timer since I was a kid."

The microwave beeped. "Well, kids, I'm going to eat this and pass out. Bells, I want you to stick close to home today. These disappearances are making me nervous." He pulled his plate out. "And, Jake, I think you had better head back and see how your old man's doing."

"But—can't he stay?" I pleaded.

"I'm touched you think so highly of me, Bells." Jacob sighed. "And I want to stay but I really do need to check in with Sam—and Billy."

"Yeah—poor Uley's out of his mind with worry. The poor man can barely sit still—I feel for him. I know what it's like to not know," said Charlie, his mouth full of casserole.

I walked Jacob to the door and watched as he turned to leave. "I'm not leaving you all alone, Bells, someone is keeping an eye out on your house." I nodded okay and he gave me a half-hearted hug good-bye.

All my old guilty and miserable feelings came running to greet me and clearly I looked as unhappy as I felt because Jacob paused halfway across the porch. He crossed the distance back to me in one giant step and swept me up into a real hug – a bone-crunching Jake hug. "Don't worry, Bells. We'll figure it all out," he spoke softly.

Jacob pulled away but I held on, resting my head on his chest and letting his warmth burn away my guilty conscience. "Jake? I still have stuff to tell you—about you know."

"And I want to hear it." His voice rumbled his chest beneath my ear. "But right now I need to go help Sam."

"Will you call me if you hear anything?" I reluctantly removed my arms from around him and took a step back. I looked up into his dark, worried eyes.

"Sure, sure," Jacob said. And then he bent down, kissed me quickly on the lips, and ran off before I could say anything.

I reached up and touched my mouth. My lips were warm.

***

Sunday passed slowly. I left Edward's phone buried in the bottom of my bag but it still nagged at me. Homework took my mind off of things for a bit but I didn't have that much to work on. I tried to read the book of legends but couldn't concentrate. Feeling fidgety and restless, I put on my headphones and laid on my bed, listening to music.

Charlie woke up around 3 and went back out to the station.

A couple of times I picked up the phone to call Jake but couldn't bring myself to dial. I didn't know what I would say, anyways. The third time I reached for the phone I called Angela instead, who was happy to talk to me.

"I'm stuck babysitting my brother," she explained. "He's beaten me at Mario Kart six times in, like, the last fifteen minutes—not that you're just an excuse. How is your project coming?"

"Not great. It's like I have all this information and don't know how to make any sense of it."

"Oh—you know, I working tomorrow night at the library. Do you want to come over and talk to Mrs. Patel about it? She did a big index to the old town newspapers a few years ago--"

"Yeah—that sounds perfect, actually. I just need to talk to Charlie, I mean, my dad, to see if it's okay. I'm still technically grounded."

"Oh, ok. Well, I should go back to getting my butt kicked at Mario Kart. See you tomorrow."

"See you."

"And, Bella?"

"Yeah?"

"I'm glad you called."

Angela hung up the phone.

How was I going to get through the rest of today? I went over to the window and threw it open. I breathed in the cool, misty air and felt a little calmer. Looking out over the back yard, I tried to spot anything out of the ordinary. Who was watching me today? Paul, maybe? I doubted either Embry or Leah wanted to subject themselves to my presence again – no matter how much Jake liked me.

I sighed, shut the window, and waited for the phone to ring.

***

Monday morning didn't bring any answers. Charlie came home after I went to bed and was gone before I got up. Jacob hadn't called.

I put up the hood on my jacket and trudged outside, ready to face whatever school had in store for me. What I was not ready for, as I walked down the driveway, was Edward Cullen, standing next to his Volvo, ready to drive me to school.

"Edward! What are you doing here?" I asked, shocked.

"Aren't I allowed to drive my girlfriend to school?" his eyes were cloudy. "You're still upset about Saturday."

"No—I don't know. It's just first you go away and tell me you don't love me and then I tried so hard to move on with my life. I made new friends and started doing things again. And then you come back like nothing changed but it's not right. I did change."

Edward moved towards me and I backed away towards my truck. "You don't know what you're saying." His voice was melodious in its anger. "You're in love with me—I can smell your arousal when you're near me."

"You're not listening to me—I changed! I'm not the same girl I was when you left and I don't want to pretend to be her anymore. I hated that girl—she was so helpless and lonely." I opened the door to my truck and climbed in. "I may still be—attracted--- to you but I can't love you, Edward." The words came up and out from my deepest subconscious before I could stop them.

Covering my confusion and anger, I stuck the key in the ignition and turned it; the engine wouldn't start.

Edward smirked at me. "Has the truck finally given out, Bella? I am still willing to drive you to school."

I debated my options. Stay home, possibly unprotected, and drive myself crazy or go to school with the guy who both terrified and attracted me. Whatever else Edward might do, he wouldn't hurt me—at least that's what I told myself.

"Fine," I said. "I'll ask Jacob to fix my truck tonight."

Edward's smirk disappeared at the mention of Jacob's name.

The drive to school was silent. Edward kept the windows rolled up and his scent permeated the car. It was intoxicating and I found myself drifting into daydreams in spite of myself. My imaginary Edward and I lay in a meadow, his bare torso glittering in the sunlight.

As we neared the school, Edward broke the silence.

"Bella, it frustrates me not to know what you're thinking--"

"You don't listen when I tell you."

"How can I know if you're telling the truth? You don't understand what it's like to hear a man's thoughts tell you one thing while his mouth says another. I cannot rely on words alone to guide me."

"I don't lie to you—I never."

Edward pulled the car into his parking spot and shut it off. Before I could open the door, Edward reached and placed a cold hand on my shoulder. "Do you promise, Bella? To always be honest with me?"

"I do." And I did. Edward would always be my first and most intense love and he deserved my honesty.

"Then tell me, Bella, what you are going to do about the Volturi without my protection. Have you have forgotten your promise to them?" Edward moved his hand from my shoulder and began gently stroking my hair. His cool touch felt heavenly.

"Honestly? I don't know."

"Look at me, Bella." I turned my head and met his eyes. His face was deathly serious. "I will protect your fragile humanity until I am destroyed but you must decide if that is what you want. I know you do not care for gifts, so all I ask is an exchange—you must take care of that humanity and not engage in reckless behavior."

"Edward--" He moved his hand down to cradle my cheek. "I need to think about this."

"Remember your promise, Bella. I will hold you to it. You said you can't love me—can't, not don't."

He dropped his hand and I climbed out of the car.

"Wait—Bella. Shall I drive you home this afternoon?"

"I'm going to go to the library with Angela."

"Ah—then I had better give you this now." Edward reached into the glove compartment of the Volvo and pulled out a spark plug. "I felt it was necessary to use subterfuge to speak with you but I think now we understand one another."

Edward handed me the spark plug and, wordless, I stuck it in the front pocket of my backpack.

Together, we walked towards the school and I had my second shock of the morning. A crowd had gathered to gawk at a familiar looking motorcycle and, standing next to it, a familiar looking Jacob Black, dressed in jeans and a tight T-shirt.

I pushed past Jessica and Lauren and a couple of other girls, who may as well have had hearts flying out of the tops of their heads, and squished through a gaggle of scared looking freshman. Edward followed close behind me.

Jacob was lost in thought, although not entirely unaware of the fuss he was causing. He was smiling a small smile to himself but when he caught sight of Edward and me together, his face fell.

"Jacob—" I wanted to ask about Emily, Jared, everything but he started speaking first.

"Cullen. We need to arrange a meeting." Jacob's voice was defiant.

"You don't need to speak, mutt," said Edward, coldly. "Just think it."

Jacob just stared at him.

"That is acceptable," said Edward, finally. "Although this production was unnecessary. Has the means of telephonic communication not yet reached La Push?"

"I don't have any leeches on my speed dial."

"How droll," Edward retorted. "Bella, shall we?"

"No! Jacob—please tell me—"

"Your boyfriend is waiting, Bella." Jacob wouldn't meet my eyes.

"The principal will be here shortly," said Edward, looking at me impatiently.

"Both of you shut up!" I yelled and two slack-jawed faces stared back at me. It would have been funny at any other time. "Good." I took a deep breath. "Jake, you never called me and then you show up here? What is this all about?"

"Ask the leech," Jacob spit back.

"_His_ name is Edward but that's not the point. I want _you_ to tell me." My hands were on my hips, in what I hoped was a reasonable approximation of Renee's scary body language when she was angry.

Jacob looked taken aback. He glanced around at the crowd still milling around. "Now isn't the best time, Bella--"

"Then, when?" My steely gaze wavered.

"After school?" He just looked confused now.

"Yes. Will you come pick me up? I was having _car trouble_ this morning." I emphasized the words, hoping he would understand.

"Bella--" interrupted Edward. "I hate to break up your tête-à-tête but the principal approaches."

"After school, Jacob," I said. "Meet me here."

Jacob nodded and turned to get back on his motorcycle but then stopped and turned back to me. He reached into his pocket and pulled something out.

"Bella, give me your hand." I stretched out my hand, palm open, and Jacob placed his larger one over top of it and curled it back up.

"For later," he said, and rode off, leaving a crowd of stunned students behind.

Edward had intercepted the principal and was no doubt reasonably explaining his innocence. I took the opportunity to escape his watchful eye.

Safe in front of my locker, butterflies in my stomach, I opened my hand—inside was the sorrel leaf.

***


	8. Chapter 8

_Boilerplate: The Twilight universe belongs to Stephenie Meyer – I'm just playing in it. I don't own anything except my laptop computer._

_And thank you, again, everyone for your kind comments! I really do appreciate them._

_  
I hope you like this next chapter!_

***

I both dreaded and anticipated the end of school. Everywhere I looked, there was Edward. I could feel the old bubble of isolation spreading out. People avoided Edward and because I was with him, they avoided me, too. I gave up on paying attention in class and as clock ticked towards the end of final period, my mind wandered through golden sunlit meadows and into the dense forest beyond.

Too soon I was waiting outside for Jacob to come pick me up. I sat on a bench out in front and watched the students swarm out of the building and towards the buses and cars. Edward waited with me. Despite or perhaps because of my outburst earlier in the morning, Edward had treated me so gently all day, like the slightest breeze or negative feeling would crack my skin and send my insides gushing out onto the ground. The clarity I'd had in the freshness of the morning had faded and I was afraid of what would happen if Jacob didn't show up. I couldn't trust myself not to give in to the soporific effect Edward had on me.

We waited ten and then five more minutes for Jacob and each minute that passed made me more and more anxious. I stuck one hand in my pocket and felt for the sorrel leaf. It grew warm as I held it in my hand. Only a few kids were left now. Edward didn't say a word. I didn't know how much longer I could wait.

Twenty minutes after Jacob was supposed to arrive, I spotted a familiar looking pick-up truck pull up across the street from the school. Two of the jocks that had been loitering out front casually crossed the street and knocked on the window. They handed something in and received a package back. The truck drove off.

"Edward," I spoke softly, "do you think that was drugs?"

"Of course," he said, disapprovingly. "And I wouldn't plan on accepting a beverage at a party from either of those two."

"That truck looked familiar. Did they say—I mean think who it was? Maybe I could tell Charlie—"

"Bella, you shouldn't get mixed up with this." His voice was stern. "You don't need any more enemies."

"But what about the girls who don't know? The girls who will take drinks from those boys at a party?"

"You can't save everyone, Bella, and the kind of girl who drinks at a party is far from innocent."

"That's not fair!"

"We must all live with our decisions. And I place your safety over the hypothetical chastity of hypothetical girls at hypothetical parties."

I opened my mouth and shut it—the Rabbit was pulling into the parking lot.

"How can I be honest with you if you don't trust me?" I said, finally, standing up to leave.

"If I didn't trust you, do you think I would be standing here as you run off to play with your dog?" Edward's face was angelic in its sincerity. "I will win you, Bella."

Edward moved in close as if he was going to hug me and I tensed and closed my eyes in anticipation. My skin tingled as I felt him draw near. A cold hand pressed against my left cheek and I heard Edward whisper, "Go before I change my mind."

I reached up to touch him but he was gone. I opened my eyes and blinked into the grey, late afternoon light.

Jacob was standing in front of the Rabbit, his arms crossed over his chest. I walked down slowly to meet him.

"Your pupils are huge," is what he greeted me with. "You looked stoned."

"Hi to you, too," I snapped at him.

"You stink—like literally," he shot back.

I got in the car and slammed the door shut.

"You're the one who asked me to come here, Bella," said Jake, still standing outside the car. "And if it was to show me that—with the leech? I got the message, okay? I already told you what I had to say."

I was fuming—frustrated—and I didn't want to be. I started digging through the glove compartment looking for the tapes Embry and I had listened to just to give my hands something to do.

Jacob climbed in the car and shut his door.

"Are you going to tell me what's going on or do I have to guess?"

I didn't want to answer. I didn't know what garbage would come out of my mouth.

"Bells?"

I knew I was being ridiculous but my body was still surging with frustration after Edward's teasing good-bye. Calm down and focus, Bella. I took a couple of deep breaths and plunged. "Can we listen to this?" I asked, still not quite trusting my voice. I handed Jacob a tape.

He looked at the tape and looked at me and raised his eyebrows. "Since when do you listen to rap?"

"Since Saturday," I replied, straight-faced.

"Bella Swan, Gangsta—I like it. So, are you going to take up free-styling now?" He grinned at me and it was like the sun clearing the fog from my brain.

I smiled back. "Only if Embry DJs."

"So—Bells, as much as I love you, I don't really want to sit in the Forks High School parking lot all day. Where are we going?"

I thought about it.

"To see Charlie."

"Any particular reason or are you just enjoying being mysterious?" Jacob started the car and began backing out of the lot.

"I think two guys from school just bought some drugs."

"I don't want to rain on your good citizen parade but I think Charlie has more important things to worry about than some high school kids smoking pot," said Jacob, dubiously.

"No! It's not—it's something," I shot back. "Edward heard their thoughts and they bought one of those date rape drugs."

Jacob's face darkened, maybe thinking of his two older sisters who had attended quite a few parties in their day. "Oh, shit! Do you know who they bought it from?"

"Edward wouldn't tell me," I said, sheepishly. "He said I didn't need any more enemies."

Jacob paused for a second as we took the turn out of the parking lot toward the Forks Police Department. "Well, did you at least see the dealer's car?" he asked, straining to keep an even voice.

"I don't know. It was a beat up pick-up truck. Blue, I think."

"Were there any bumper stickers or anything? Gun rack? No gun rack? Dents on the side?"

I closed my eyes and pictured the truck. "No gun rack. Muddy along the bottom. And I think there was one of those Calvin stickers – you know where he's peeing on a number?" I opened my eyes.

"Was it a three?" Jacob's face was deathly serious.

"I think so but it was hard to tell from where I was sitting—why?" I touched Jacob's arm and I felt his muscles tense. "Do you know whose truck that is?"

"Yes," said Jacob, speeding up. "It's that asshole Arnold Spirit. He just got of Clallam Bay for dealing out a couple of months ago. It looks like he's up to his old habits. He's such an ass! His sister Raven has been sober for almost a year and then boom – Arnold comes back and she's up at Mill Creek drinking pitchers again."

He sped the rest of the way and insisted on coming into the station with me. Charlie was out on a call but I left him a note telling him about what I saw and adding that I'd be at the library with Jacob—I had a feeling Charlie wouldn't mind, as he seemed to be more concerned that I wasn't seeing Edward and fleeing the country with him than about me actually being grounded.

We drove back through town towards the library. Jacob was quiet and I didn't like it. I could always tell how he felt, even when I didn't want to know. The oddness of not knowing what somebody was thinking—I wondered if this was how Edward felt with me.

"Jake?" The silence was too much.

"Yeah," he answered, eyes on the road.

"Thanks for coming to see me today."

"No problem." His eyes were still on the road. "But I can't stay too late. I'm due to relieve Quil along the Forks border in a few hours."

"Oh—" I was suddenly aware that Jacob was giving up an afternoon of much needed sleep to be with me. "—well, I'll get to the point, then. Weird things have been happening to me."

"The signs things, right?"

"Not just that. I've been having weird dreams, too. And then Raven said something—" I looked over at Jacob to see what his reaction was.

"I'm listening, Bells," he said, giving me a wry smile.

I blushed. "Oh—I mean, I know. So, the other night when Charlie and I came out to your place, I thought I saw a vampire waiting and it was Victoria. But it wasn't. It was Raven and she stopped our car and told me to watch for the signs."

"Bells, I know you white people like to think that Indians have all sorts of bullshit connections to nature but Raven is an alcoholic. Who knows what she was talking about."

"Then how do you explain it raining fish?" I asked, exasperated.

"It's unusual but not unheard of—waterspouts pick the fish up in the ocean and then they fall on land."

"But they fell _on me_!" I said, more loudly than necessary.

"And, thank you, because they were delicious," said Jacob, grinning. "Look, Bells, I don't know what's happening but whatever it is, we'll get through it, okay? Just—let's deal with Victoria and finding Emily and Jared before we start solving unexplained weather phenomenon." He grew serious again.

"I know—it's just—I want to help and I can't patrol or beat people up or anything. I thought that if I could figure out these clues than maybe—" I sighed. "I don't want to be a burden, you know?"

Jacob reached over and put his arm around my shoulders and drew me as close as my seatbelt would allow. I turned and laid my head on his arm. He was warm.

"You aren't a burden, Bella," he said, softly. "And you aren't worthless or helpless or fragile—but it doesn't matter how many times I tell you that. You aren't going to be happy until you figure it out for yourself."

That's what I'm trying to do, I thought.

***

The library was quiet. I found Angela and she formally introduced me to Mrs. Patel, the reference librarian, who seem extremely interested in my project on 'local legends.'

"You know, Bella," she said, taking off her glasses, "this area has an extremely interesting history. All sorts of unexplained phenomenon—fires, floods, and other things." She dug through her desk drawer for the keys to the local history room. "You and your friend are welcome to check through the card catalog index to the old Forks Gazette—it ran from about 1875 to the 1960s. Just let me know if you find any articles you want to look at and I'll help you with the microfilm reader."

"Thank you, Mrs. Patel," I said, ready to follow her downstairs. She smiled at me and Jacob, who had been standing silently behind me. Then I had an idea, "Mrs. Patel, do you think you could help me look up a definition of an Indian—I mean a Native American word?"

"That depends—do you know which language?"

"No, but I think it's a local one."

Mrs. Patel looked at me for a second and her eyes lit up. "That sounds like a challenge," she said, smiling. "What's the word?"

"Chemawa."

She wrote it down. "I'll let you know what I find out. Now, let's get you set up downstairs."

The local history room appeared to have been untouched since I had been in there on Saturday with Leah. Mrs. Patel showed me how to use the card catalog index and then left us alone.

"You don't have to help, Jake," I told him, still feeling guilty that he was giving up sleep for me. "Leah just sat over there and napped."

"And miss out on all the fun?" Jacob said, grinning. "I don't think so. Where are we going to start? M for murder, V for vampire, H for Bella is extremely hilarious?"

I giggled and smacked him playfully on the arm. Jacob responded by picking me up and twirling me around until I was dizzy. He let me go and I stumbled around for a few seconds while the room spun. I backed up against Leah's armchair for support and looked up to the small basement window that was letting in the fading daylight—a pair of red eyes looked back at me.

I froze in fear, unable to move or blink. The eyes disappeared and I shook myself out of it and turned to Jacob who was watching me with concern.

"Bella, are you okay?" he asked, moving over towards me. "I didn't think I spun you that hard."

"Vampire—in the window—not a Cullen," I sputtered out.

Jacob sniffed the air. "God damn leeches! The scent isn't strong, though, but something else—" he looked at me. "Are you sure it was right there? Just now?"

I nodded yes.

"Shit—let me think—we need to get back to La Push. Now. Is there a back way out of here? The leech might be watching the front door waiting for us—and watching the car! Damn it!"

"I could ask Angela, maybe—"

"Wait—Bells, do you have your cell phone with you?"

"Yes, but—" I didn't want to tell him that the phone I had was a gift from Edward.

"Okay, we'll call Leah—I think she's closest. I have a plan."

Reluctantly, I pulled out the phone and turned it on. "Can't you just phase and do that mind reading thing?" I said, handing it over.

Jacob took it from me. He looked grim. "Right. And then you can explain to the nice librarian why there is a gigantic wolf standing in a pile of historic documents."

The plan was to have Leah drive over and park near the back. She would casually walk in and find Angela and hand her the keys, she would then come and tell us that 'the bitch has landed' – Leah's idea of a hilarious code – and then we would sneak out the back door to Leah's car and hightail it back to La Push. Leah would wait a suitable amount of time and follow us in the Rabbit.

Jacob handed me back the phone and I grabbed his hand. He looked at me for a second questioning and then pulled me into a hug. "It'll be okay, Bells," he said, sighing.

I wrapped my arms around him and tried to soak up some of his strength and courage along with his warmth. I closed my eyes and I was in the forest, being chased. I was running, nimbly leaping over branches and boulders and logs. He was fast but I was faster. He was big but I was small. I could hide and run between trees.

Deer must have some defenses or they would have all been eaten long ago. I pulled away and gave him a brave smile. "I'll call Angela and tell her the plan."

Although Angela was confused about a) why I was calling her when I was downstairs and b) why exactly I was engaging in spy vs. spy, she didn't ask for any explanations. I told her I owed her one and Angela responded, "Friends don't owe each other anything, Bella. I'll be down as soon as Leah gets here." And my heart leaped at little to hear her say that—friends.

Jacob stood guard, anxiously pacing and eyeing both the door and the window. He was making me nervous, so I moved over to the card catalog and flipped through the entries under 'Fire' making note of anything that I might want to look at later.

Twenty minutes later, there was a small knock on the door. "Bella?" hissed Angela. "Are you in there?"

Jacob opened the door and let her in. "Here," she said. And handed him the keys. "I'll show you the back way out."

Angela led us through the basement and back up a second set of stairs. We emerged in the children's section. Jacob handed her his keys to pass onto Leah.

"Thanks, Angela," I said. "I'm sorry about this."

She shook her head and gave me a quick hug. "What are friends for? Good luck!"

Jacob took my hand and we made a dash for Leah's car. Jacob gunned the engine almost before I could close my door and we peeled out of the parking lot. He didn't say anything but I rolled my window down to look back at the front entrance of the library.

There was nobody there.

The drive to La Push was tense. Jacob sped the entire way and the trees blurred together out of my window. I kept my eyes peeled to the side of the road, anyways, just in case. I don't know what I was expecting to see. It started to rain again and the rhythmic sound of the windshield wipers droned in my head. Tick tock, tick tock, time was running out.

As we drew close to the La Push border, I could feel Jacob start to relax a little but the wipers still ticked their drumbeat in my head.

I held my breath as we crossed the border but nothing happened

"There was a yellow Porche following us but it just dropped back," said Jacob, breathing a sigh of relief.

We arrived at the Black house in one piece.

Jacob had Billy call Charlie to let him know where I was, telling him that we were doing homework, and then ran out to phase and check in with the pack.

"Bella, you might need to stay the night," Billy said. He looked tired.

"I'm sorry," I replied.

"Well—Charlie would never forgive me if I lost his daughter, so why don't you go and see if you can cook us up something nice for dinner and we'll call it even." He patted me on the shoulder and I gave him a shy smile.

I went into the kitchen and started looking around. Jacob reappeared, shirtless. "I have to go, Bells, but I'll be back as soon as I can. You're safe here." He was stoic and it made me miserable.

"I'm cooking," I said.

Jacob smiled but it didn't reach his eyes. "I'll eat when I get back." He turned to leave.

"Wait—" I called out. Startled, Jacob spun around to face me. I ran over and threw my arms around his neck, pulling him down towards me, and kissed him on the cheek. "For good luck."

I stepped back, blushing.

Jacob looked at me with hurt eyes and left without saying a word.

The Black's kitchen didn't contain much more in the way of groceries than my own did but I found the ingredients for spaghetti and the process of cooking kept my mind from wandering onto topics that made my stomach clench up in nervousness. There were no vampires, no friends I was hurting by being around them, no chance I might die tonight in the recipe for spaghetti sauce—just tomatoes, onions, garlic, and spices. And I dug some ground beef out of the freezer to add to the mix.

Billy checked in on me a couple of times but didn't say anything.

I chopped and stirred and sautéed.

Finally, the pot was simmering. I turned the heat down and covered it and looked out the window into the rain.

Somebody was standing over by the garage, looking back at me—a familiar face except for the red eyes.

It was Emily Young.

***


	9. Chapter 9

_Boilerplate: The Twilight universe belongs to Stephenie Meyer – I'm just playing in it. I don't own anything except my laptop computer._

***

Emily Young stood by the garage and then I blinked. She was in front of the window.

"Bella," she called softly. "I need to talk to you."

Emily's eyes were red—blood red. The scars that obscured one half of her face were still present but rather than averting my eyes, as I had always done, I looked directly at her. The twisted lines enhanced the unearthly beauty of the undamaged portion of her face, She was half goddess and half devil. Long strands of her inky black hair fluttered hypnotically in a sudden breeze. The moon emerged from behind the cloud cover and Emily's skin glittered slightly in the moonlight.

"Bella," she called again, beckoning me with her finger. "Come outside."

In my shock, I did exactly as she said. Emily is my friend, I told myself, and her becoming a vampire doesn't change that. But I grabbed the giant chopping knife I had been using before quietly sneaking out of the Blacks' house.

Moonlight illuminated odd patches of the yard and intersected with the floodlights on the house, creating eerie shadows. "Emily?" I hissed, shivering slightly in the chilly night air.

I stubbed my toe on a rock and winced in pain. When I looked up, she was in front of me, about 10 feet away.

"What happened to you?" I asked, my hand gripping the knife handle. "Who did this?"

"Isn't in wonderful, Bella? Finally, I'm free—" She threw her hands up in ecstasy and spun around. "—Free from all of that boring human stuff. I don't need to cook or clean or suffer through yet another oh so sorry person doing everything they can to avoid looking me in the eyes."

Her red eyes seemed to bore into mine. "Don't you understand, Bella? I'm strong now—and beautiful." Emily smiled. "Of course, I still feel some affection for Sam and the others—my human self hasn't completely vanished."

I had no words. I just stood there, awed. Emily took a step closer.

"Now, Bella, I came because I wanted to tell Sam but the smell—" she shuddered "—it's too awful. I waited to find you alone. I know I can trust you."

She took another step towards me.

"W…w…what do you want me to tell him?" I stuttered out.

Emily took another step closer; she was just out of reach.

"Just that there's—something in the woods." Emily licked her lips. "Something bad. I'm not supposed to tell Sam about the cave but—" her eyes narrowed "—but I didn't want him to—" Emily began to shiver slightly and I could see the desire in her eyes.

I took a step back, not wanting to loose sight of her. Emily stood where she was for only a second more but it was enough. I closed my eyes and raised one arm in front of my face and the other, which still gripped the knife, I thrust forward.

A sudden noise—gravel crunched on the driveway and I looked into a pair of oncoming headlights. I turned back to Emily's smiling face. The knife made an indent in the hard flesh above where her heart used to be. I ran back towards the house, half expecting to be ripped to pieces before I had taken a step.

"EMILY!" came a voice from the darkness. It startled me and I tripped and fell, the knife flying off into the tall grass surrounding the house.

Breathing hard, I rolled over and stood up, ready to run again, but outlined in the headlights of the car stood Leah.

"What the hell happened to you, Em?" asked Leah, softly.

Emily laughed. "Like you care! You haven't spoken to me in months!"

"I couldn't—I didn't know how," answered Leah.

"Now, now, Leah! Talking is as easy as, say, drinking. You just open your mouth and suck in the warm, delicious, sticky—"

Almost too quick to see, Emily lunged at her. Leah phased and it was a light-gray wolf that darted out of the way. Howls sounded on all sides of us as the pack-mind tapped into Leah's thoughts and realized what was happening.

Emily ran at Leah again and again she dashed out of reach, leading her away from the house and car. The ground began to vibrate slightly as the heavy footsteps of the rest of the pack descended upon us.

I couldn't see well beyond the headlights of the car—just vague shadows, so I gasped as a brown wolf jumped out from behind the car and rammed into the passenger's side door as he caught Emily's right ankle in his mouth.

She kicked him hard in the face with her left foot and he opened his jaws in shock. Emily took off into the woods and the wolf stood to follow but before he could move another wolf – this one big and black – jumped in front of him. The hair on the black wolf's back was raised and he gave a low growl, causing the brown wolf to back down submissively.

And then two pairs of wolf-eyes looked at me as Jacob came running up from behind the car. My heart was still beating so fast and the nervous, frightened energy raced through my body, Jake was the only trigger it needed. As soon as I saw him, my feet began moving again and I raced towards him. His face was grim but when he swept me up into a bone-crushing hug, I could sense his relief as he squeezed me tight.

"Bella, I need your shirt," he said, softly, into the top of my head.

"What? Why?' I mumbled into his chest.

"For Leah. She lost hers when she phased," he stepped back and the hint of a cocky smile played across his face. He held out his hand. I unzipped my hoodie and handed it over; Jacob took it and jogged back towards Leah. I shivered and wrapped my arms around myself, more from fear than cold.

The brown wolf turned and walked behind the garage and the black wolf followed him. Paul came running up from the same direction Jacob had disappeared off to and ran straight to the passenger-side door of the car and yanked it open—inside was a very shocked Angela. Her right arm looked bruised from where the door had pushed up against it and her hair was disheveled. She looked at Paul confusedly and then over his shoulder to where I was standing.

"Bella?"

"Hi," I said, sheepishly and waved. I had no idea what I was supposed to say. Sorry you almost got killed by an epic battle between a vampire and a werewolf? What was she even doing here?

"Can you walk?" Paul asked her. "Do you need to go to the hospital?"

Angela was still seated in the car as I approached.

"Bella, what was that?" she asked, ignoring Paul, who shrugged his shoulders and walked off, joining Embry, who was just hitching up his shorts.

"Angela, can you undo your seatbelt for me?" I asked her, trying to assess how badly hurt she was. Did she have a concussion? How much had she seen?

She fumbled with the catch. "I just came because I was worried, you know?" The seatbelt clicked free. "It's just Leah and I started talking and she said I could come with her to see you and then she would drive me home." Angela placed one shaky foot out of the car and looked up at me. "I had a paper to give you—from Mrs. Patel." She turned and placed the other foot out, too.

"You don't need to rush," I said, in what I hoped was a soothing voice. "We have all night."

Angela gave me a weak smile in response.

Jacob reappeared behind me along with Leah, who stood a few paces back with Paul. From behind the garage came Sam and Quil.

I turned to the pack. "Can I get some help—please? I don't think I'm strong enough to help her stand on my own."

Sam looked at Leah. "This is your mess," he said to her, in a voice that seemed to come straight from the 9th circle of hell. "You will clean it up."

The pack looked on in cowed silence as Leah glared at Sam before defiantly walking over to me and Angela. She walked as if she was doing him a favor rather than following orders. And without a word Leah lifted Angela up as if she weighed no more than a rag doll. Angela gave a little gasp of surprise but out of reflex wrapped her arms around Leah's neck and laid her head on Leah's shoulder.

"Jake—where'd you leave the keys to my car?" Leah asked, in a faux-casual voice, as if she was off to the grocery store.

"In the glove compartment—but are you sure you're okay?" Jacob made some half-hearted movements in their direction.

"It's cool, Black. Sammy just wants to get rid of me because he's too scared to hear—"

"Leah," came Sam's low, cold voice. "That's enough. Take her home. The rest of you—Embry, Jake—back on patrol running the border. Quil, Paul—you're second shift. I'll patrol around here—just in case." His face was frozen. All his emotions were in lock-down. I couldn't begin to imagine the pain he was in seeing his fiancé transformed into a monster—a vampire.

I had been forgotten in the showdown between Leah and Sam and was beginning to breathe a little easier as Leah got Angela settled in her car and started the engine. I was just gathering my courage to slowly make my way over to Jacob when I heard a voice cry out.

"Bella! Come over here a sec!"

Five pairs of eyes turned to me—tired, angry, bloodthirsty, untamed, and ice-cold. Blushing furiously at the attention, I walked as quickly as I could over to Leah's car, where she was waving her arm out of the open window.

"Yeah?" I said, my face still red.

Leah handed me a manila envelope. "From the library—Ange brought it for you." She started rolling up her window. "Catch you later, Swan, and, by the way, nice knife skills." And the car peeled out of the driveway and sped off.

Clutching the envelope, I turned back around to face the pack.

"Bella—," started Sam. He stopped. "All of you. What happened here tonight—didn't happen. That wasn't Emily."

"But she's been—" interjected Quil, raising his hand as if he were in class.

"That was not Emily," Sam repeated, this time with all the authority of his Alpha Wolf status behind him. "Go—do your jobs." The look he gave me as the boys sprung back to life would have iced over the magma core of Mt. St. Helens.

I stood frozen, as they began running off to their posts. Jacob paused as he jogged past me. "I'll be back later—tell Billy I'll sleep on the couch. You can have the bed." He gave me a sad smile and squeezed my arm. "Sleep tight, Bells."

Jake ran to catch up with Embry and I was alone, except for the sad howls of the wolves.

As quietly as I could, I opened the door to the Blacks' house and crept back into the kitchen. Billy was waiting for me, stirring the tomato sauce that I had left simmering.

"Still got another 40 minutes or so on this," said Billy.

I just nodded.

"So, poor Emily Young's been turned," he said, placing the lid back on the pot.

I nodded again.

"Poor Uley. He won't have an easy time of it." Billy wheeled over to the fridge and got himself a beer.

"Billy? Do you think she could—" And the thoughts percolating in the back of my mind spilled out. "—I mean, not all vampires are bad, right?" I asked as he popped the can of Rainer.

Billy took a sip and looked at me. "Girlie, if Leah hadn't pulled up when she did. We wouldn't be having this conversation right now because you'd be dead and drained. There ain't no bloodsucker on this Earth that can control its appetite forever. No matter how much it acts and remembers like a human being—one bite. One bite and you're done—dead."

My stomach churned in a nervous anger. "But what about Carlisle? He helps people—he could help Emily!"

"Your Carlisle. Is he really so good? He made those kids—that family for himself. Did they ask for that?" Billy's voice was calm, reasonable.

"I know he wouldn't have done it unless he had no other choice! He's a good man."

"Stealing some poor kid's death is not a choice. Everyone dies—it's the way of the world. Freeing up space so our children can live. Vampires? That ain't life—hunting and killing those weaker than you to feed your never ending thirst; watching as all of those you loved wither and die until you are an empty shell. Rootless. Do you think Emily wanted that?"

"No, but—" I started.

"But maybe you do?" asked Billy.

I shut my mouth. Billy was watching me carefully. He knew. I don't know how but he knew.

Billy took another sip of beer. "Where is Charlie tonight?"

"I don't know. The station? He's been working late every night since—you know."

"He's a good man, Bella, and a good friend. I don't like lying to him but I will to keep his daughter safe."

"Thank you."

"This isn't a favor to you." Billy wheeled over to the kitchen phone. "I'm going to tell him you came down sick suddenly and are staying here tonight. Jake can drive you to school in the morning."

"Do you think Charlie will be okay?" I asked.

"I don't know," answered Billy. And I knew he wasn't just talking about tonight.

Dinner was silent except for the blaring television and I escaped to Jacob's room as quickly as I could. I dug a warm sweatshirt from somewhere in the back of his closet and then laid on his bed and spread out everything in my backpack.

Knocking around the bottom of the bag were Edward's cell phones. I could call Alice. Tell her about Emily and maybe see if they could help rehabilitate her.

But is that what Emily would want?

Is that what I would want?

Emily was transformed. Her old life discarded and all the people in it. We were food and Sam was an enemy. She would watch her family grow old and die—unless she killed them first.

My phone rang—Alice. I answered it.

"Hi, Bella. I knew you were going to call me and I didn't want you to chicken out. Are you okay?"

"I'm safe."

"That's not what I asked."

"It's just—" I remembered Sam's order. "—that girl Emily who was missing. Well, we found her." And I didn't care. He had no authority over me. "She's been turned."

"I know," said Alice. "Emmett picked up the scent of a newborn up around the lake when he and Rose were hunting."

"Why didn't you tell me?!"

"Edward told us not to. He didn't want to worry you."

"Worry me? Don't I have a right to know about my friends?"

"We weren't sure it was her, Bella," explained Alice patiently.

"She's not the friend I meant, Alice." I said, coldly. "But aren't you going to help her?" How could they not?

"It's complicated—she's with Victoria now."

"Then what good are you?!" My voice shook with anger. "What good are any of you?!"

"Bella," began Alice. "It's not like that. We do want to help but—" I could feel angry tears prickling my eyes. I wouldn't cry on the phone.

"I have to go. Bye, Alice."

"Wait, Bella!"

I switched the phone off and shoved it and Edward's broken one back in my bag and flung it in the corner of the room.

A couple of self-pitying tears escaped my eyes and trickled down my cheeks. And then a few more for poor Emily Young. And for Jared, still missing. And Sam. And Charlie. I sobbed as quietly as I could into Jacob's pillows.

And fell asleep, tear-stained and blotchy-faced, still dressed in my clothes.

***

_I'll have another lump of sugar in my tea, I said. Rosalie smiled and dropped a cube into my cup. _

'_You have such a sweet tooth, Bella,' she said. 'You're going to get diabetes and we won't want to eat you anymore.' _

_I giggled and got up from my chair. The river raced by so fast. I dipped a bare foot in and drew it back out._

_The boatman called out to me. 'Are you coming across, lass? It's free going over but you can't cross back.'_

_I felt warm fur under my fingers. The doe turned to me and said, 'You know where to find him.'_

'_The boatman? He's right there,' I replied, pointing. But he was gone. I turned around and looked into the dense woods._

_I was afraid. I turned back around._

_The river was gone, too._

_A sunbeam burst through the cloud cover and lit up my hands. _

_I sparkled._

_I screamed._

***

"Bella."

I sat upright and looked down at my hands. I was human.

"Bella?" Came the voice again, questioning. "Are you okay?"

I squinted into the darkness. "Jacob?"

Large and warm and smelling of the forest, Jacob sat down on the bed next to me.

"This is becoming a habit," he said, with a hint of his old joking tone behind it.

I tentatively reached out and touched his face, just wanting to feel that he was real. Jacob leaned into my hand. He was so warm and my brain was fuzzy from sleep and dreams.

"Jake? Is there a river near here?"

He chuckled softly. "Do you want to go skinny dipping or something?"

"No," I said, ignoring his joke and taking back my hand. "It's just I had a weird dream."

"Can it wait until morning?" he said, fighting back a yawn.

"I guess."

Jacob stood up. "Good night, Bells," he said.

My chest felt tight all of a sudden. "Wait!" I called out, softly. I wanted something—a hug, a touch.

"What?"

But I was too shy. "Nothing." I said and turned over on my side facing away from him.

Jacob stood there for a second. A sad tear escaped down my cheek.

And then he sat back down and began gently stroking my hair with his hand. I sighed contentedly and snuggled back against him.

"Do you want me to stay?" he asked. I couldn't read his voice.

I nodded yes against the pillow.

"Scoot over, then," he said and I pushed all the papers and books still littering the bed onto the floor and rolled over.

Jacob lay down beside me and wrapped me in his arms.

"Good night," he whispered again and I felt his breath tickle my neck.

I drifted back to sleep, warm and safe.

***

_Red eyes looked out from a dark cave._


	10. Chapter 10

_Boilerplate: The Twilight universe belongs to Stephenie Meyer – I'm just playing in it. I don't own anything except my laptop computer._

_Chapter 10!!! Thank you for sticking with me! _

_I know Bella was kind of obnoxious in the early chapters but that's how I saw her in "Eclipse." Her transition to decent human being is more meaningful, I think, if she begins at the rock bottom self-centeredness Stephenie Meyer keeps her at post-"New Moon."_

_I hope I'm still keeping you on the edge of your seats! There is still much more excitement and adventure on the way! _

_Note: The poem recited is Lord Byron's "Translation of a Romaic Love Song"._

***

_Red eyes watched me from deep within a cave. If I moved, startled it, it would kill me. I needed to stay still—perfectly still._

_Knock, knock, knock._

_I moved to see who it was._

My eyes slowly opened; it was still dark and I was alone in Jacob's bed, asleep on top of the covers. I closed my eyes again.

_I was in front of the cave in the woods._

_Knock, knock, knock._

The noise sounded again and the door opened a crack, letting in the light from the hallway.

"Bella, you need to get up," said Billy. "Your father is here."

"Okay," I replied, sleepily, and sat up. Billy flipped on the overhead light and shut the door. I covered my eyes with my arm and blinked in the sudden light.

Five minutes later, I shuffled into the kitchen bag in hand. Charlie was standing there with a cup of General Store coffee talking grimly to Billy. "—and there was another one last night. I just don't know, Billy. Things have gone from bad to worse the last year or two. Poachers killing mountain lions and bears in the reserve and now people—" he stopped when he caught sight of me. "Bells, sweetheart, are you feeling better?"

A glimmer of an idea formed in the back of my mind.

"Where's Jake?" I asked, my voice still thick with sleep.

"He's on the couch, Bella," said Billy looking at me sternly. I wondered if he knew where Jake had spent most of the night.

"Can I just say bye before we go?" I asked Charlie. He and Billy looked at each other.

"Well, I guess that's alright," said Charlie, "I'll meet you in the cruiser." He reached over and took my bag and patted me on the shoulder.

I walked as quietly as I could into the living room. Jacob was sprawled out on the couch, on his back, shirtless, mouth open, snoring softly. His long arms and legs dangled over the edge of the couch, making him look like a giant puppy. I tiptoed over and crouched down to gently shake him awake but before I could touch him, a long arm snaked around me and pulled me in. I lost my balance and fell forwards on top of Jacob, who brought his other arm up over my mouth to muffle my squeak of surprise.

He opened his eyes and grinned at me. I tried to wiggle free but his grip was too strong. "You just can't get enough of me, can you?" he said, wiggling his eyebrows.

I could feel my face getting red with embarrassment. I didn't have time for games this morning, so using the only tool at my disposal I stuck my tongue out and licked his hand. Jacob scrunched up his nose and took his hand off my mouth, shaking it. I wiggled myself free of his grip and off the couch. Jacob sat up, pulling a pillow into his lap.

"So, did you come in here to torment me with your spit or did you need something?" he said, still a bit smug.

"Actually, I had a favor to ask you," I said, carefully staying out of arms reach. My face was still flushed.

"And that is—?"

I lowered my voice, my heart beating nervously. "How do you feel about skipping school today?"

Jacob leaned forward. "Is Bella Swan encouraging delinquency? This must be serious."

"It's not delinquency, really, just a little truancy. I'm going to stay home sick today. Can you meet me there after Charlie leaves for the station? Emily told me something last night and—"

"WELL, BYE, BELLA, I hope you FEEL BETTER," Jacob interrupted me, loudly, and then mouthed, "Billy."

"Thanks, Jake," I said in what I hoped was a normal tone. "Will I see you later?"

"Yeah," he said, "I'll try to stop by and check in on you." And then he winked at me and smiled.

I smiled back in relief and walked out to the cruiser and Charlie.

The drive back to Forks was quiet. According to the clock on the dashboard, it was only 5:45am. The roads were empty but my mind was racing—Emily, Jared, Angela, Alice, Edward, Jacob, and Victoria. All the threads were tangled up but I didn't know where to begin pulling the knot to loosen them. I leaned my head against the window. Charlie's radio squawked bits of chatter—a pick-up truck abandoned up by the lake; Mrs. Edelstein's dog had run away again; Raven Spirit picked up drunk outside Mill Creek. I closed my eyes and drifted off into a doze.

Charlie pulled off into our driveway and turned the car off. It was enough to shake me out of my half-asleep state. I yawned. My mouth tasted horrible. I hadn't brushed my teeth last night or this morning.

"Bells," said Charlie tentatively, not looking at me. "Is there something going on? You can talk to me. I know I'm not cool like your mom but—"

"No—I mean, yes but it's nothing. I'm just trying to figure things out, you know? But I'm going to figure them out here. This is my home now." And as I said it, I realized it was true.

He nodded thoughtfully and turned to look at me. "Well, okay then." He paused. "Bells, I know things are tough right now with the disappearances but as soon as we solve this, maybe you and I could do something together."

"Together?" I said, confusedly. "Like what?"

"Well, we could drive up to Port Townsend—walk around and look at stuff. They have that old lighthouse and some nice old building or if you don't like that maybe just to the movies or something." My heart melted a little more.

"Sure, sure," I said, giving him a little smile. "That sounds fun."

Charlie gave a little smile back. "Well, now, go on and get changed and I'll drop you off at school."

"Actually—I'm still not feeling well. Is it okay if I stay home and rest today?"

He looked at me, concerned. "Do you need to go to the doctor?"

"No, I think it's just one of those 24 hour bugs," I said, quickly and unbuckled my seatbelt. "I just need rest and fluids."

Charlie reached over and put his hand on my forehead. "You do feel a little warm—I'll call the school secretary from the station."

"Thanks, dad," I said. I pulled my bag out of the back of the car and waved bye to Charlie as he drove off.

I unlocked the door and walked inside the house. It felt like I hadn't been home in ages but it had only been a day – just 24 hours ago I was going to school. Well, being driven to school by Edward, who had removed the spark plug from my truck in order to make sure I couldn't escape.

My heart started to beat a little faster. The house suddenly felt too big and every corner ominous. I raced up the stairs as quickly as I could and dashed into my room and slammed the door shut. Safe, I thought. I flung my bag down on the bed and started getting undressed. I needed a nice hot shower to wash away the dirt and grime and sorrow of yesterday.

I stripped off Jacob's oversized sweatshirt and was starting to pull up my tank top when a discreet cough sounded from behind me. I whipped around and standing in front my bed was Edward Cullen.

"What are you doing here?" I said, a little too loudly.

Edward's face showed concern. "I was worried," he said. "Alice didn't see you at school today and after last night—with the newborn—I needed to make sure you were safe."

"I'm fine, Edward," I said, even though my heart had begun to pound faster and my breathing grew shallow.

"But you almost—" he turned his face away in pain "—you could have died, Bella. New vampires are very unstable and with Victoria already coming after you, I have no choice. I really have no choice."

"No choice about what—" I took a step back and then another. My hand was on the doorknob. "No choice about WHAT, Edward?"

He just stood there with his head down. I turned the doorknob and pulled the door open behind me. Before I could step through, Edward was standing over me—one hand resting on the doorframe and the other cradling my chin. I forced myself to look up into his unnatural, amber eyes.

"You used to like when I protected you, Bella," he said, softly. "You always wanted me in your room." He began to stroke the side of my face with his ice-cold hands. "You liked me to watch you sleep. Now—I have to sneak around when I should be able to have what's mine." The feel of his frigid flesh made me shiver. He was like a marble statue.

"Edward, you're scaring me," I managed to choke out. "Please—"

"Please? Please let you get killed? Please let you get pawed by a wolf? Do you think I can't smell him all over you, Bella?"

"It's not what you think! I didn't do anything!" His sweet scent was overpowering but I fought the urge to lean into his touch.

"Do you really think those animals can protect you—and Charlie—when they couldn't even save one of their own?" He spit the last words out at me in a hiss and dropped his hand.

I was running for the stairs as soon as his icy fingers left my cheek but Edward was faster. He was in front of me.

"You have become so wild, Bella, and unladylike. I know it's his bad influence." And his hand was on my wrist. "Come. I'll make you a nice cup of tea to settle your nerves."

And I had no choice. The pressure on my wrist was too great and the familiar, sweet scent of Edward too overpowering. I let him lead me downstairs into the kitchen and sat docilely at the table while he prepared me a cup of tea. Maybe if I cooperated he would leave before Jacob arrived—that fight was something I did not want to see.

Edward placed the mug of tea before me. He had taken the liberty of adding milk and—I took a sip—sugar, lots of sugar.

"There now," said Edward. "That will help you calm down." He smiled at me, looking for all the world like one of the paintings of the Archangel Gabriel we had seen in Italy.

I took another sip of the sweet, milky tea and yawned, suddenly feeling drowsy.

"Bella, you promised to protect your humanity, your virtue and yet you continue to tempt danger."

"I don't do it on purpose! Besides, they are only after me because of you! Why don't you just go and leave town again—maybe this time all the bad guys will follow you!" My anger burned through the drowsiness.

Edward just looked at me with cold eyes. "I recognize my role in these troubles, Bella. That is why I must do everything I can to keep you safe. You are my duty."

I finished my tea and slammed the mug down on the table. "I'm not a duty—I'm a person!" My knees buckled slightly and I felt the blood rush from my head. I put my hands on the table to steady myself. "What's happening to me?"

Edward sighed. "I didn't want to do this, Bella, but you left me no choice. You wouldn't come quietly." He moved around to help me stand up but I gathered every ounce of stamina I had left and ran for the kitchen door. I slammed it behind me and ran out the front door, down the stairs. I tripped and wiped out in the driveway, ripping my jeans and scraping my knees and my bare arms. I stood up and turned around to look behind me—Edward was standing on the porch, watching.

Knees and forearms bleeding, I ran for the truck and got in. I didn't have my keys and my final thought before the drugs overtook my system was the keys didn't matter because the missing spark plug was still in the front pocket of my book bag.

***

I was cold.

Icy hands shook me awake and had me sit up. A glass of water was held up to my lips and I swallowed it greedily before drifting back off to sleep.

I had no dreams.

***

It was dark when I woke up again. I was in an unfamiliar bed, the sheets were silky smooth but only a thin blanket covered them. I was cold.

Light. I needed light.

I stuck my hand out to my left and it hit a bedside table. On the table was a lamp. I fumbled with the switch but managed to turn it on.

I was in Edward's room.

I got up on shaky legs and saw that at some point I had been dressed in a white linen nightgown. I walked over to the door—it opened. Alice was waiting outside.

"I've been waiting for you to wake up," she said, giving me a cold hug. Goosebumps raised on my arms. She smiled at me. "Edward thinks you'll be mad at him, so he sent me up first."

"Alice, I need to go home. Charlie will be worried."

"Don't worry, silly, I called and told him you were staying with us. I mean, we are going to be sisters, anyways, right?" She smiled but it didn't reach her eyes. "Now, what do you need – food, water?"

"I want to GO HOME!" I yelled.

"You are home," she said, firmly. "Edward can protect you here and we'll have so much fun together. You'll see. You just need time to get used to the idea. Of course—I could always change you and then you could protect yourself." She put a cold hand on my arm. "You like that idea, don't you?"

I tried to push past her but she was in front of me every way I turned.

"Bella, I can't just let you go. Victoria is out there and the Volturi and the newborn and those wolves. You are safe here. Come now, don't make me carry you back to bed."

Tears of frustration filled my eyes as I turned and went back in the room. Alice stood in the doorway. "I'll send Edward up with some human food for you. You can't be mad at him forever, he's only doing what's best."

She closed the door and locked it and I was alone again in Edward's bedroom. My backpack was resting against the foot of the bed and a pile of my clothes was beside it. The glow of the bedside lamp made the large windows act like mirrors as the light reflected back inwards and I saw two versions of myself stamp the floor in frustration and kick the bed.

The stinging pain in my toes helped calm me down a little bit and I began taking a good look around the room. There was an old-fashioned clock sitting on Edward's writing desk and I limped over to take a closer look—4:32. I had slept through the entire day.

Piled neatly on the desk were stacks of paper. Curious, I flipped through them. Some had musical notation on them and others contained snatches of dark and brooding poems.

_Pour me the poison ; fear not thou ! _

_Thou canst not murder more than now : _

_I've lived to curse my natal day, _

_And Love, that thus can lingering slay._

I threw the papers back down, my stomach clenched in fear. How had I been so blind before? Romeo and Juliet were romantic on paper but I didn't want to die. I had been so in love with the idea of Edward that it hadn't clicked before. But now that he was back I could see it all. This wasn't love; it was obsession. Edward wanted to own me. I was just a toy to him—a beloved doll, perhaps, but a toy all the same.

And if I became a vampire, if I was transformed—like Emily? I had friends, family, people who cared about me. Charlie and I were going to go to Port Townsend and look at the lighthouse! And my new, growing friendship with Angela? And the wolves who had taken me in as one of their own, asking nothing in return? Could I really go through with the transformation that would have me see them all as food—or worse, enemies?

I ran to the windows and flung them wide open. A cool breeze hit my face. It was raining. I leaned out as far as I could and let the drops hit my face, washing away my tears. I had to get out of here. The drop was too far to jump. I would break a leg or my neck if I attempted it.

The bag! My phone was in there! Leaving the windows open, I found my bag and started digging through it. The phone was gone but something else was still there. Edward's broken phone—the one he had left under the bed in my room. He either hadn't seen it or assumed it was worthless.

With shaking hands, I pulled it out and pressed the button to turn it on. The screen was cracked but that didn't mean the phone itself wouldn't work.

Just then I heard the lock jingle and the door began to open. A beam of sunlight streamed through the open window and illuminated the opening. The light grew brighter and wider as the door swung open to reveal a Goddess.

The entire room was bathed in buttery yellow sunlight as she walked in and shut the door behind her. Her golden hair glistened and her pale, white skin sparkled. Kind, amber eyes met mine.

She walked towards me, with her arms outstretched, each footstep leaving a trail of flower petals. Her dress was white and long and flowing. She had a garland of flowers in her hair. I trusted her.

I walked towards her open arms and she hugged me tight. "I want to go home," I said. "I don't want to become a vampire."

The sunlight disappeared and it was Rosalie who held me.

"I have a plan, Bella."

***


	11. Chapter 11

_Boilerplate: The Twilight universe belongs to Stephenie Meyer – I'm just playing in it. I don't own anything except my laptop computer._

_Sorry for the delay in getting you this chapter. I had trouble sitting down to write it for reasons that will soon become obvious – and needed to write three fluffy one-shots in order to prepare myself._

***

"Can you do exactly as I say?" asked Rosalie, quietly.

"Why are you helping me?" I asked back, still entwined in Rosalie's cold embrace.

"Just say yes or no," whispered Rosalie into my ear.

I thought of golden sunlight filling the room—was that the third sign? This felt right; I nodded yes.

Rosalie pulled away and looked at me critically.

"I'm supposed to help you dress. The wolves are coming. They think we've broken the agreement." Rosalie began rifling through the pile of my clothing. "You actually wear this?" she said, holding up a ratty T-shirt and wrinkling her nose. I shrugged my shoulders.

"Well, let's see if Edward has anything decent for you to wear," Rosalie and she walked over to Edward's closet. She flung the doors open to reveal a neatly organized interior. Shirts hung in color-coordinated rows, all neatly pressed. Trousers were folded neatly and stacked on a set of shelves along the left hand side. A row of shoes lined the bottom.

Rosalie pushed the shirts aside on the right and uncovered a small section of dresses in a variety of pastel shades. "Ugh! I love Edward dearly, but he has the worst taste." She pulled out one in a particularly vile shade of light pink. He bought all of these for me. I wondered how long he had kept them hidden in his closet.

"I can dress myself," I said, hurriedly, picking up a pair of jeans. I didn't want to wear one of those dresses. Rosalie shot me a cold glance and I put the jeans down. She picked out a white dress with a green trim and held it out at arm's length. "Sometimes, I think Edward left his brain back at the turn of the century," Rosalie said, sighing. "The turn of the last century, I mean, but this will do."

She gestured for me to strip down but I hesitated, embarrassed. "Can you turn around?"

Rosalie stared at me harshly before laying the dress down on the bed and turning her back. I quickly stripped off the nightgown and pulled the dress down over my head. The bruises on my arms and the scrapes on my knees from my fall on the driveway were garish in the light.

"Okay," I said, "You can turn around now."

She maneuvered me in front of Edward's giant mirror and began adjusting the dress. I watched our reflections in the glass—my small human self next to her unearthly beauty.

The white dress ended just below my knees, hiding the worst of the scrapes there. It had a high neck but it was sleeveless, exposing my bruised arms. The hem was trimmed with a green ribbon that matched the green ribbon that hung below the bust line. Rosalie pulled it tight and tied it in a neat bow.

She spoke softly as she began brushing my hair. "Bella, you are aware that Edward and Alice have certain—powers. Alice needs to see that you have _decided_ not to run off and Edward must hear from the others that you are content. Do you understand?"

"But," I squeaked, "I thought you were going to help! I can't—the pack—"

Her eyes locked with mine in the mirror. "Edward will not leave you alone unless he is sure of your intentions. He will need to feed eventually and I will encourage Emmett to take him far afield but Edward will not go if he thinks you are in danger of running off."

My stomach clenched in fear when I realized what she was asking me to do.

"I see you understand now," she said with a grim smile. "Bella, while I may find your company—distasteful, I don't take pleasure in anyone's unhappiness. If Carlisle refuses to see that Edward has gone too far then I must act. He should have put a stop to this nonsense months and months ago when Edward began skulking around your house at night. But Carlisle continued to indulge Edward and ignore the implications of his actions. I thought that after the incident in Phoenix but—" She stopped. "I fear what Edward will do to you if you run off while he is here."

He would turn me. He would turn me into a vampire to save me.

Rosalie put the brush down and pulled out a small bottle from her pocket. She dabbed a small amount of the sweet smelling lotion onto her hands and began rubbing it on my face and hands.

"The wolves are right," she said and her cold hands made me shiver. "Close your eyes." I felt powder dust my face. "Edward did violate their agreement but I do not want a fight. Forks is so dreary and the air is so odd lately—like something is watching."

She turned me around. "Open your eyes, Bella." I blinked. "Come now, the others are waiting. You remember my instructions? Alice and Edward must not suspect—you must _decide_ to stay."

"Rosalie—please!" I needed her to explain. "The agreement—?" Her cold eyes searched my face.

"No, Edward did not turn that girl but he did promise your wolves that he would not act against your will." I remembered the silent conversation between Edward and Jacob in the school parking lot. "And, yet, here you are."

"And—after?" I asked, not quite knowing after what.

"After is after. Esme has expressed her disapproval of Edward's actions towards you in the past; I believe I can convince her to step in once you are safely away. Emmett will do as I say and Jasper is extremely ambivalent towards humans. He will not care either way. It's time we left this place. We've stayed too long as it is."

I took a deep breath to calm myself.

"Are you ready now?"

I nodded.

She took my hand and led me downstairs. My bare feet were cold on the hardwood floors but the sensation kept me focused on what I had to do—my fate lay in my own hands.

We entered the living room and Rosalie dropped my hand. The Cullens were assembled and waiting.

Edward smiled when he saw me. "Bella, you look beautiful—that dress compliments your eyes. I knew it would." He stood up to walk towards me but stopped, his face concerned. I didn't need to be able to read his thoughts to know that he was worried that I was angry with him for drugging and kidnapping me for 'my own good.'

A brief flash of rage blazed through my mind but I couldn't sustain it—I couldn't be angry with Edward. I wouldn't be angry with Edward. The family watched, waiting for my reaction.

I took a step towards Edward and that was enough. Alice jumped up and hugged me tight. "I knew you would come around," she said, squealing with glee. "Now we just have to deal with these mangy mutts." She pushed me over towards Edward who just cradled my face in his hands and gazed into my eyes.

I couldn't help it—I blushed under his gaze. All the old daydreams and emotions rose to the surface and flooded my thoughts. I called up all the love I felt for the Edward of my daydreams and willed myself to believe that he was this man in front of me.

Edward leaned down to press his cold lips against mine and a chill ran up my spine at their touch. I forced myself to lean into him and he wrapped his arms around me—I was frozen.

"The wolves are coming soon," Edward said, softly, into my ear. "They believe you to be here unwillingly and are claiming my family has violated our agreement."

"Yes," I said. "Rosalie told me." I pulled back, shivering, and saw Edward flash Rosalie an angry expression.

"Well, then, Bella," said Carlisle, speaking for the first time, "Can we trust that Edward has done the right thing? I know he has been so worried for you."

I felt sick to my stomach.

I smiled.

"This is the first time our Edward has taken an interest in someone outside the family, which makes you are a very special girl, Bella. You make Edward very happy and what makes him happy, makes _us_ happy."

Carlisle looked fondly at his adopted son and Edward, smiling, put his around my shoulders.

Emmett started to say something but Rosalie smacked his arm before he could get the words out. She looked at him sternly and he sighed.

"Welcome to the family, Bella," said Rosalie. "You see how full of love we are."

Esme smiled kindly at me. "Yes, Bella, we will all grow to love you like Edward does."

Emmett smirked at me. "Not exactly like Edward does, unless you think he'd be down for—ow!" Rosalie had kicked his shin.

Edward was glaring at everyone. "You promised to behave," he scolded his family. "Bella is delicate. She doesn't understand your humor, Emmett, if your crass single entendres can even be _called_ humor."

"I thought when you finally started getting laid, you'd take the stick out of—" Emmett started but Carlisle interrupted.

"Boys!" he said sternly. "We have company. Edward, take Bella to greet the guests."

The doorbell chimed and Edward helped me to my feet. He took my hand and began to lead me out to the foyer.

"We'll back you up, Bella," said Alice, catching me and squeezing my other hand. "We'll be right here." She kissed my cheek.

I felt faint, like all the blood in my body was pooling around my feet. I didn't want to do this but I couldn't stay here. This couldn't be my life—forever cooped up and constantly being watched.

My heart raced. Maybe I could just run out and hide behind the wolves! Jacob would protect me! This thought carried me all the way to the door. Rosalie could take of herself but—facing the door, knowing Jacob was on the other side. I couldn't do it. The wolves might protect me but at what cost to them? I couldn't ask them to sacrifice themselves for me. They had done so much already.

Rosalie's plan was the only way. I had to trust that it would all work out. I closed my eyes and remembered the golden glow that had bathed Edward's room earlier this morning, remembered my living room alive with vibrant plant life and Jacob peeling the heart-shaped sorrel leaf off of my foot. I looked up at Edward and nodded. I was ready.

Edward moved in front of me and opened the door.

"Please come in." He spoke calmly and moved aside to let the wolves in.

Sam, his face frozen and emotionless, entered first, followed closely by a distraught looking Jacob. Leah and Paul, sullen and surly, were the other pack representatives.

"What can I do for you?" asked Edward. "As you can see, Bella is perfectly safe with us."

"Bella—" Jacob said quietly, ignoring Edward. "You're still human?" The relief in his voice was palpable. "We thought—after Emily—you were gone the same way. I came and you were gone and the blood in the driveway—Charlie still thinks—" and he trailed off.

Jacob was looking at me with an intensity that almost unsettled my careful plans. I wanted to run to him and soothe his worries. I wanted to feel his warm arms wrapped around me and rest my head on his chest.

I looked away and took Edward's hand. "I tripped and fell," I said, Edward's cold flesh hardening my heart. I looked directly into Jacob's hurt eyes. "I scraped my knees."

"Yes," said Edward affectionately, "you know how clumsy she is."

"So, what does this mean?" said Sam, raising his voice in agitation. "She disappears the same way Em—my fiancée does and yet here she is safe and sound. What did you do to her?"

"If you are referring to the newborn female, I am sorry. We had nothing to do with that." Edward sounded genuinely contrite.

"Nothing to do with it?! It's your fault! You came onto _our_ land and brought this trouble with you. And now one of our own is still missing because he was protecting this leech-loving slut." Sam was shaking with anger now. "You tell me how you have nothing to do with it."

"Bella," pleaded Jacob, "please tell me what's going on. Charlie is worried sick. He thinks you've been kidnapped like—like Emily."

My careful façade fell for a second. Charlie. "Didn't Alice call him?" I asked, real worry escaping into my voice.

Edward glared at Jacob. "We didn't want to worry her," he said. "But we thought it best if she severed her ties with the human world as soon as possible."

I looked down to hide the sick expression on my face and summoned up a neutral mask. I was happy, I told myself. This is what I wanted.

Paul and Leah had moved to either side of Sam and were attempting to talk him down. Edward watched impassively.

"Bella?" tried Jacob again. The desperation in his voice made my heart ache. He moved towards me and I backed away. If he touched me it would be all over. I'd collapse and Edward would rip his head off—literally.

"I'm staying here," I said out loud. "This is what I want." Jacob's face crumpled and my heart broke. I looked away.

"What should I tell Charlie?" Jacob said, his voice quavering ever so slightly. I gripped Edward's hand tighter to ward back the tears. I thought of Kai in Andersen's _Snow Queen_ and conjured a sliver of the mirror for my heart.

"I think it's best Charlie believes his daughter missing like your Emily," said Edward calmly.

Sam stopped struggling.

"We're leaving!" growled Sam. "And any leech that sets foot on our side of the border is going to be glittering in hell. If I hear that you so much as breathe funny on any human in Forks, we will be coming after you."

He pushed past Edward and out the front door. Jacob gave me one last look, his eyes hollow. Paul said nothing but purposely rammed Edward's shoulder on his way out the door. Leah followed close behind him but stopped and gave me a hard look before she left.

"Watch yourself, Swan." She turned to leave. I knew she hated me already but something dredged itself up from my memory.

"How is Angela?" I asked Leah's broad shoulders.

"Why do you care?" she said without turning around. "You're never going to see her again."

And Leah slammed the door behind her. I blinked back tears.

Edward placed a cold hand on my shoulder. "Don't worry, my Bella, Angela is fine—although if that she-wolf's thoughts are anything to go by, Angela might be in some moral danger in the future. That is no concern of yours, however."

He spun me around to face him and bent down to kiss me.

I fainted.

***

When I woke up, I was laying on top of the covers in Edward's bed. Alice was sitting in bed next to me.

"Look who's awake! Sleep is so boring! I don't know how Edward could sit and watch you night after night."

My stomach hurt and my head ached. Alice's chipper voice felt like a chainsaw.

"Carlisle says we forgot to feed you properly, so here I am! Edward wouldn't let anyone else try to cook for you, so I was sent to wait up here with snacks for when you woke up."

I sat up and she handed me a cookie.

"Here you go!"

I bit into it but the cookie was dry and caught in my throat. I coughed.

"Do you need water?"

I nodded.

Alice handed me the glass and I sipped it, slowly. Then I took another bite of cookie and another until it was gone. Crumbs fell onto my dress but I didn't care.

"Edward is making coq au vin—it was one of his favorites as a human."

I nodded politely. If I spoke the tears would fall and I didn't want to draw any more attention to my fragile emotional state. I just needed to make it through the next few days and I'd be free.

The thought brightened my mood but I quickly damped it down. I needed to make sure Alice saw my future remaining firmly in the Cullen household. I was staying here.

Edward called me down to dinner, or rather brunch since it was only 10 in the morning, soon enough. He and I sat at one end of the long dining room table and he watched me eat the meal he had made for me. He wanted to know if it was too hot, too cold, salted properly, and if I required anything—anything at all.

The rest of the week was much the same. I slept, woke, ate, and muddled through the days like a zombie. I did everything Edward asked of me. Rosalie would occasionally give me a knowing glance if Edward wasn't in the room. I think he was kind of in awe of her. He didn't seem to want to intrude on her thoughts the way he did everyone else's.

Alice tried to keep me busy with projects and dress-up but whenever I could I retreated to Edward's, and now my, room and looked over everything in my bag.

Unbelievably, Edward and Alice were still going to school. Carlisle said it would look suspicious if they pulled out as soon as I went missing and Edward reluctantly agreed. I relished the hours of alone time when he was gone. If I couldn't plot my escape, at least I finally had time to look over the papers I had assembled.

The envelope from the librarian, Mrs. Patel, had disappeared somewhere. I spent a couple hours looking for it one morning before giving it up for lost. I would just have to work with what I had. I read over my notes and finally finished the book of Quileute legends. And when I was done, I read them all again, trying to fit the pieces together.

A pattern began to emerge—whenever a deep evil or unrest arrived in the area, the land itself seemed to come alive to root it out and expel it. Stories of a giant bird providing food during a severe famine or of plants growing overnight in an area that the white people had salted in an attempt to drive the Quileute off the land drove my theory: This land was protected.

When Edward would come home from school, he would play the piano for me. Or sometimes we would read books together. Edward's personal library was heavy on the 19th and early 20th century but I borrowed some more modern literature from Esme, who was surprisingly well read. I supposed she didn't have much else to keep her busy.

Edward didn't seem to notice or mind that I never touched him and tried to push all thoughts of Charlie and Jacob far from my mind. And if the occasional tear fell, Edward was content to believe I was mourning my human existence, which, in a way, I was.

My dreams continued, vividly, but the deer who had been haunting my subconscious had vanished, replaced by a dark cave and a pair of red eyes that followed my every move.

I grew numb as one week turned into two. But Edward's eyes began to darken. He kept me further away from him, physically, and I caught him sniffing me hungrily a few times one evening. He needed to feed.

The morning after the sniffing incident, Edward woke me before dawn. "Bella, I'm leaving to hunt. I will be back as soon as I can."

"Okay," I said sleepily. "Bye."

He crept out and shut the door behind him.

My heart began to beat faster—today was the day.

Freedom.


	12. Chapter 12

_I'm sorry for the delay since the last chapter. I got ill and then I was visiting my best friend for her birthday…_

_But, don't worry, we're almost all wrapped up with _The Rain Song_ and I'm already plotting my next multi-chapter work._

_(Who knew writing fic was so addicting!)_

_And, thank you, again, for all of your kind reviews! I really do appreciate them and YOU for sticking with me as I find my fic-writing voice. This has been a really fun journey for me._

_Anyways, enough of me yapping—on with the show!_

_Part of the dream sequence is adapted from Lewis Carroll's "Alice in Wonderland."_

***

I lay silently in bed but every heartbeat carried the word I'd been hiding from myself and the Cullens: freedom. I tried to focus on Edward's room—on staying in Edward's room—but my heart continued to beat. So, to still my mind, I counted my heartbeats—one, two, three…thirty—by the time I got up in the hundreds, my eyes felt heavy again and I drifted back into an anxious sleep.

'_Oh dear! Oh dear! I shall be too late!' and the Rabbit actually took a watch out of its waistcoat-pocket, and looked at it, and then hurried on. I started to my feet, for I'd never before seen a rabbit with either a waistcoat-pocket, or a watch to take out of it, and, burning with curiosity, I ran across the field after it, and was just in time to see it pop down a large rabbit-hole under the towering spruce tree._

'_Wait!' I yelled. 'Late for what?' And I ran to follow him, crushing moss and leaves underfoot. I crouched down and stuck my head inside the hole. Looking back at me were two red eyes. A cold hand snaked out and grabbed my arm._

'_Bella, you'll be too late.'_

_I couldn't move or speak. I was frozen._

'_Bella, listen to me—'_

_It was—_I opened my eyes.

Rosalie glittered in the sunlight filtering through the windows. She was sitting on the edge of the bed.

"Bella," she said calmly. "Would you like to go shopping?"

"Shopping?" I asked, sitting up. Was this really the time for that?

"Yes, shopping. You and me—alone." Rosalie stood up and walked towards the door. "I think we'll go to the big mall, the one that's on the way to Seattle."

My foggy brain slowly whirred to life and I nodded.

"Meet me downstairs in 15 minutes," Rosalie said over her shoulder. "And don't bring anything."

I was ready in 10, too tense to do much more than wash my face, brush my teeth, and change into my favorite jeans, a clean tank top, and my red hoodie. I hated to leave my books and things but it would look suspicious if I left the house with my backpack. After a few seconds of indecision, I shoved the book of Quileute legends into the pocket of my sweatshirt—to 'read in the car,' in case anyone asked. And then, with a final look around Edward's room, I shut the door and went downstairs.

Esme was in the living room, standing at the window. The sunlight filtered through the trees outside and the play of shadow and sparkle on her face and arms made her appear unhuman, which, of course, she was.

But her face was kind as she turned to face me. "So, Bella, Rosalie says she is taking you shopping."

I answered and it wasn't even a lie. "Yes. I wanted something."

"Well, then, I suppose this is good-bye." And she was right in front of me, her cold hands on my shoulders. "I'll miss your company around the house today. It does get so lonely here. In all our houses—"

"I'll be back," I said, but I think we both knew it wasn't true.

"Rosalie is waiting for you outside," said Esme. She gave me a kiss on the forehead, her icy lips feather light against my skin but the chill reached my toes. Esme dropped her hands and I took a step back.

"Good-bye, Esme."

Her haunted smile swam before my eyes all the way to the front door. Poor Esme hadn't chosen this life, either. What had she been like as a human? Did she regret that she was unable to join her son in Heaven? If there was a Heaven—I wasn't so sure these days.

I pushed open the front door and stepped into the sunlight. The air was crisp and clean and took to my lungs like a bucket of soapy water to Charlie's kitchen floor. I could feel the fog lifting. I could feel the—three sharp blasts of the horn interrupting my reverie.

Unafraid of tripping, I raced to the car and clambered in the passenger's seat. Rosalie was speeding out of the driveway before I could get my seatbelt buckled. Rosalie had the country station on and the windows down and we drove through Forks and out, down the highway.

I had assumed she'd take me directly to La Push but she didn't. I didn't know where we were going—was Rosalie really taking me shopping? It felt like I'd swallowed a block of ice. My throat went dry. "Rosalie? Where—" the words caught "—where are we going?"

She didn't turn down the music. "We are going to the mall, like I said before. That is where Alice will need to see us—so you had better decide on it."

"But I thought—"

"You thought!" Rosalie laughed, a melodious tinkle. "If you had _thought_ we wouldn't be in this situation. But, as you assume, you will not be returning to my house. We are meeting somebody at the mall—a friend of yours who agreed to help."

Jacob! It had to be! He had forgiven me—I knew he wouldn't have held those things I said against me. The ice in my stomach melted and sparks of excitement took its place. In two hours—or less, seeing that Rosalie drove like the rest of the Cullens—I would see him. Rosalie cranked up the music, forestalling further conversation, and an hour and a half later, we pulled into the parking lot of the Marysville Mall.

"Are you ready?" Rosalie asked.

I nodded. I was.

"Well, then, let's go play secret agent," she said, stepping out of the car.

There were only a handful of shoppers but they all turned to look at Rosalie as we passed by. With her golden hair hidden under a silk scarf, her amber eyes behind a pair of large, round sunglasses, and wearing a tan raincoat in the milky sunlight, she looked like _somebody_. I looked like nobody and scurried in her wake.

We ended up in the ladies section of one of the big anchor department stores. Rosalie flitted through the racks of clothing, unselfconsciously picking up things here and discarding them there, until we ended up at the huge display of jeans along the back wall. A figure emerged from a nook in the wall off the right and I started but it was just a clerk, probably returning from break.

Rosalie began browsing the jeans, unfolding and refolding the size 8s and inspecting the fit. I began pacing, scanning the floor for that familiar smile, that familiar face, but the store was empty.

A warm hand caught my shoulder and butterflies exploded in my stomach. "Bella," said a low, growly voice and I turned around with a relieved grin. My face fell a little but only a little. Sam wasn't Jacob but he was my ticket home—to my real home.

Rosalie appeared by my side and nodded to Sam. "You came. I wasn't sure you would."

"Yes," he said, "I'll take her back to La Push, like I promised."

"And I will uphold my part of the agreement. My family will leave your land." Rosalie looked down almost wistfully at me. "Bella, I won't say it's been a pleasure, but I do wish you well in your life—live and die well. Both are important." She held out her hand and I shook it. It was cold.

She was gone.

I looked up at Sam's frozen face. He didn't meet my eyes. "Let's go, Bella. We have a long drive."

He wasn't lying. Sam spoke maybe four words to me the entire trip back to La Push – three of them in the parking lot ("Here's the car") and the fourth in response to my question to regarding the radio ("No"). I didn't try to ask anything else, figuring I could grill Jacob when I got back to La Push. I hoped he had forgiven me. I would make it up to him—all the awful things I said. We were friends and friends forgive each other.

Despite my hours of sleep the night before, I felt my eyelids getting heavy as the trees rushed past the window. I laid my head against the glass, closed my eyes, and let my mind wander. I had no idea how I was going to untangle the mess I'd gotten myself into. Charlie? School? I hadn't let myself think about them while I had been shut up in the Cullen's house but now. Well, I'd deal with those problems when the time came. My stomach growled and I realized I was hungry—genuinely hungry for the first time in days.

I opened my eyes, debating whether or not I dared ask Sam to stop a gas station for a snack, and saw that we'd missed the turn off to La Push. My hazy daydreams were pushed to the side, eclipsed by a slow burning panic as I glanced over at Sam's determined face.

"Where are we going?" I asked hesitantly.

"To meet with an old friend," he said.

"Who? Where?" My hands moved to unbuckle my seatbelt but Sam reached over with a heavy hand to stop me.

"You'll see when we get there." He stepped on the gas.

What could I do? I couldn't call on Edward now—if I did, I would never be free from him. Charlie couldn't help me. I had to trust Sam and pray that Jacob would explain everything. Sam was honorable—loyal. He'd found me in the lost in the woods once, he would never do anything to harm me. That's what I told myself.

Half an hour later, we pulled off onto an old logging road. The sun had retreated behind a growing cloud cover hours ago and when we entered the woods, the light grew even dimmer—a hazy gray. We drove on and on and the trees seemed to blend together forming an impenetrable green wall outside the car window.

Eventually, we arrived at a burned out old house, half hidden behind creeping moss. There was a blue pick up truck parked in front. Sam parked beside it.

"Get out."

I obeyed, clambering out of the car, half-ready to bolt even though I _knew_ Sam would catch me.

And then Sam was on my right side and took a firm hold of my arm. We walked into the house together. The inside was a little less dilapidated than the outside, but not by much, and a strange chemically smell burned my nose. Empty soda bottles and bits of shiny metal scraps littered the floor. I felt Sam shudder in disgust. He didn't want to be here any more than I did.

"I know you're here!" Sam called out after we'd stood there for a few minutes. I heard shuffling noises from the back room and a man emerged, Indian, with two long black braids. He was wild-eyed, and I gave a sharp inhale of breath. I remembered him—Arnold.

"So, to what do I owe this visit—business or pleasure?" Arnold gave me a leering wink and I moved closer towards Sam.

"Where is she?" demanded Sam.

"Ah, well, _she_ comes and goes as she pleases," Arnold seemed to be in no hurry to offer up any information of value. "I'll tell her you were looking for her, though—"

Sam dropped my arm and moved to loom menacingly over Arnold. "That's not good enough. We had an agreement—a trade—and I want what's mine." He leaned down to speak directly into Arnold's ear. "Tell me where she is." Each syllable struck like a knife—I was the trade.

My feet began moving backwards on their own volition but Sam heard me move and growled low under his breath. I stopped.

Arnold coughed and drew Sam's attention back. "Alright, Uley, don't get your panties in a bundle. I can take you to her."

Sam rammed Arnold up against the wall, his massive forearm pinning down Arnold's chest. "You had better not be lying to me." Sam drew his index finger down Arnold's chest and over his stomach, stopping just above his groin. "Or I will chew open your gut and frolic in your intestines like a goddamned puppy dog. Do you understand me?"

Arnold nodded, fear creeping onto his face for the first time. "Sure, sure. We can go right now."

Sam took a step back, his face still impassive but his eyes were manic when they met mine. "We're going for a walk, Bella. You like that, don't you? The woods?"

I'm not proud to admit that my knees buckled. I went tumbling towards the ground but Sam caught me before I cracked my head. "Poor, weak Bella. I'll carry you if I have to," Sam taunted. He threw me over his shoulder, my head grazing the moldering ceiling.

The three of us headed off into the woods behind the house and I watched it retreat into the distance, swallowed up by the vegetation. I thought I caught sight of a pair of black eyes in a sad face staring at me from the back window but when I looked again, they were gone. I frantically scanned the woods for something—anything—that could help me. I don't even know what I was looking for. Guns don't exactly grow on trees, not that a gun would be of any use against a werewolf. Or a vampire.

Panic heightened my senses. I felt every bump as Sam trudged along behind Arnold, leading us deeper and deeper in the forest. It occurred to me that maybe I should be leaving a trail, in case somebody was following. A vague memory from "The Two Towers" rose up—Merry and Pippin captured by orcs. They had dropped a broach. I didn't wear jewelry but—

I wiggled a bit on Sam's shoulder.

"What!" he barked.

"I have to pee," I whined.

"Now?"

"Well I could just do it on you—" And Sam flung me down and I landed hard on my butt.

"Behind those trees. And I'm _listening_ so don't try anything funny."

I stood up on shaky legs and stumbled behind the trees Sam had indicated. Holding on to the mossy trunk of the closest one, I unzipped my jeans and pulled them down, my underwear, too. I squatted and tried to pee. I couldn't remember drinking anything that day but, thankfully, my bladder cooperated and while I peed, I carefully took my book out of my sweatshirt pocket and placed it on the ground. If somebody (Jake) was tracking me, they would find it and hopefully know I was okay—at least so far. The mechanics of peeing in the woods are not easy for those of us who are female, but fortunately, I had a crumpled tissue in my pocket to use as toilet paper. I pulled my underwear and pants back on and walked back around the trees to Sam and Arnold.

Sam yanked me up and threw me over his shoulder again and we continued on. It grew darker and darker as we ventured further and colder, too. I could feel the chill in the air against my face but Sam was warm, like Jacob, and despite everything, I snuggled in. Darker and darker—it began to drizzle. My legs were cramped, my fingers ached, and just when I thought I wouldn't be able to take it anymore, we stopped.

"We're here," said Arnold, unnecessarily. He was out of breath.

"In there?" asked Sam, dubiously. He put me down and my legs collapsed beneath me. The world spun around me and when it stabilized all I could see was a cave. And staring out at me from inside it—a pair of red eyes.


	13. Chapter 13

_Are you ready for the fallout from Chapter 12? _

_I hope nobody is hating too much on Sam – he's crazy with grief. We can all understand that, right? And don't forget that the wolves all thought Bella had forsaken them and joined the vampires…_

_Anyways, let's see what's in store for them!_

***

"So, mutt, you've come," said a sweet voice from inside the cave. "And you've brought me a present."

Victoria stepped out into the fading daylight.

"I've come for what's mine," said Sam. "Where is she—Emily?" His voice cracked on her name.

Sam's attention was off of me for the moment and I slowly stood up, trying not to make any noise. I kept my eyes glued to the scene in front of me.

"I relinquish my hold over her," said Victoria, with a melodious laugh. "She is your responsibility now." She turned and called back into the cave. "Emily! Your puppy is here."

Emily blithely strolled out of the cave, her red eyes flashing with excitement.

"Em—" said Sam softly. "I'm going to help you." He took a step towards her and reached out his hand.

Emily wrinkled her nose. "Help me? HELP? I don't need your help anymore—I'm the strong one now. I'm not some weak _human_, all frail and breakable." She looked at me and licked her lips and lunged but Victoria grabbed Emily's hair and pulled her back.

"That one is mine," Victoria hissed and I took a fumbling step backwards. I wasn't so forgotten after all.

Arnold had been slowly making his way back into the woods but when Emily turned her attention towards him, he broke out into a run. She closed the distance in a matter of seconds and I watched in horror as Emily sunk her teeth into his neck, ripping flesh.

Blood seeped down around her mouth and arms and neck as she sucked greedily. The coppery tang shook Sam out of his horrified stupor and he ran towards her—his back rippling with the onset of the phase. He tried to pull her off but she flung him backwards with a single graceful motion of her arm.

This was my chance! I could be in the woods before—before I could think it, Victoria had my arms pinned behind my back. She leaned down and spoke into my ear and her soft, sweet voice froze my feet in fear. "Let's leave the lovers to their problems, shall we? You're mine now and I'm not letting you go so quickly." Victoria shoved me forwards, towards the cave.

The last thing I saw before we entered the dark depths was Emily, her face dripping with blood, racing off into the woods with Sam—still holding back the change—in pursuit. And that was it. Nobody knew I here except Sam and he didn't care. This was how I was going to die.

With Victoria holding my arms in her grasp, it was slow walking. After we got a few yards into the cave, the daylight disappeared but candles had been lit, illuminating a path. A few more yards took us to a small chamber and Victoria pushed me inside. I tripped and fell, ripping open the knees on my jeans. My hands were bleeding. I tried to stand but Victoria yanked me up by the hair and shoved me against the wall, face first. When she let me go, iron shackles attached to a heavy weight were on my hands.

I collapsed in a heap on the floor.

Victoria rolled me over with a dirty, bare foot and smirked down at me. "What shall we do first? I do so love to play and I wouldn't want our time together to end too soon." She pulled out a thin blade from a pocket and crouched down beside me. "Maybe I'll let you think about it first—"

She drew the blade along the side of my face, pressing firm enough that I could feel it but not breaking the skin. Down my neck went the blade and caught the collar of my sweatshirt. The knife was sharp and cut through the fabric easily and soon I was laying on the frigid, dirty ground in bare arms. Blood flowed in sticky rivers down my arms—they were shallow cuts but stung like crazy. Victoria kicked the remnants of my hoodie towards a pile of rags in the far corner.

"I'll let you sit and think about what's going to come—attracted by the smell of blood—" Victoria laughed to herself. "Aren't you going to say something, little miss precious?" She kicked my feet. "I haven't broken you already, have I? Because that would be no fun at all."

I stayed silent, my eyes on the ground in front of me.

Victoria kicked me again, in the stomach, and I cried out.

"That's more like it," she taunted. "I'll be listening for the screams—the rats won't come out until I leave but once they're feeding, well, they won't mind a little audience." She laughed again and swanned gracefully out of the chamber, looking regal despite the bare feet and filthy clothes she wore.

Candles flickered, giving the chamber an eerie glow. My head hurt. My feet hurt. My stomach hurt. Everything hurt. Tears welled up in my eyes and for the first time in weeks, I gave into fear and panic and just cried. Loud sobs echoed around the room but I didn't care. How could my life have come to this? I was lost and abandoned and would never see my loved ones again. Charlie already thought I was dead and Jacob—my Jacob—thought I hated him. At least I would stop causing problems for them. They probably wouldn't even miss me before too long. The thought made me feel worse.

I cried until I had no tears left and my throat was parched and dry.

I couldn't wipe my face or eyes or nose and tears dripped freely onto the ground, mixing with the blood flowing sluggishly down my arms.

…drip…drip…drip…

My breath sounded loud and heavy in my ears.

…drip…drip…drip…

I tried to calm down and think but my mind was on high alert. Every noise sounded like the scratching of little paws attached to sharp teeth. Victoria wouldn't just leave me here to die, would she?

She would.

…drip…drip…drip…

A steady noise began to drill through my panicky fog. It sounded like water dripping. I sat up and looked around but I couldn't see anything in the dim light. I tried to stand up but the weight on my hands was too heavy and I sank back down with my back against the wall and my legs spread out in front of me.

The dripping slowly began to pick up speed and turned into a trickle. Running water snaked past my feet on its way to the other side of the chamber and began to pool by the pile of rags. Was she going to drown me?

My stomach began to tie itself into knots—but before the fog could overwhelm my senses again, I felt a cool breeze disturb the stuffy air of the chamber. It smelled of the forest, of trees, of growing, living things. Something soft and warm stuck its muzzle against my neck.

A doe.

She followed the water and drank deeply.

_Drink, Bella_, said the doe.

"How?" I asked. "I can't move my arms or stand up."

_I will help_.

The doe picked up a wooden cup in her mouth and filled it with water. She brought it to me and poured it down my parched throat. I drank deeply and could feel the water bringing new life to my tired body.

She put down the cup.

_My child—he is lost, as you are. You must help each other._

"I don't understand. I can't do anything!"

_I am the one unable to rid my lands of this evil. I've been watching you, Bella. Your mind called to me—it wasn't like the others._

"But—my dreams? The signs?"

_Yes. For many long years I've watched these lands—and evil has passed through many times. But this time was different—the cold ones, they stayed and festered like a cancer. The evil grew and called to others—still more will come if you cannot stop them._

"The Cullens—they caused this?"

_Time is running out—you must help my lost child._

The doe leaned forward and licked my dirty forehead.

_This is the last time I can come to you—_

She backed away towards the rag pile.

—_help him._

A blinding light lit up the room and I closed my eyes tight. When I opened them again, the chamber was empty – no doe, no water. Had I imagined the whole thing? I was going crazy. It had only been a few hours and I was going crazy!

The rag pile moved slightly. Rats! I choked back a scream and pushed up against the wall as far as I could go.

Something moved again but it wasn't a rat. It was—a hand?

"Hello?" I said, softly. Somebody groaned in response.

I made up my mind—either I could sit here in fear and wait for the rats to come and eat me or I could follow the instructions of an imaginary deer and help whatever—whoever—was buried in that pile of rags.

The water had renewed my energy and I dragged myself across the floor. Panting from exertion, I prodded the rags with my foot.

"Hello? Are you okay?"

Another groan.

I kicked out and my foot connected with something hard. A tall, dark-haired figure sat up.

"What the—where am I?"

It was Jared.

"Bella?" he asked confusedly.

"Jared? How long have you been here?"

"I don't know where here is. The last thing I remember is being in that house on the old rez—Arnold's been drugging me. He's got this stuff that stops you from phasing—so I couldn't warn Sam or talk to anybody or—" His breathing picked up as he panicked and his words came faster and faster. "—I've got to get out of here. I have to leave. I have to—"

Jared tried to stand up but he was too weak.

"Hey! Calm down. It's going to be okay," I said, not knowing where the words came from. "We're in this together, you and me."

Jared's frantic eyes kept searching the room but his breathing slowed. A brilliant idea came to me. "Distance doesn't matter in when you phase, right? You can talk to anyone, right?"

"Yeah—but I can't phase. I can't." His voice edged on hysterical.

"When was the last time you tried? When was the last time they gave you the drug?"

"I don't—I don't know."

"Try, Jared. Please?"

"What if I can't? What if we're trapped here forever and ever and—"

"You can," I said firmly. "You can—I know it."

"But—what do I say? I don't know where we are and—"

"I do. Phase and let me talk. It's the only way."

Jared looked at me with wide eyes. I looked back, trying to project a calmness I did not feel inside. Finally, he nodded.

"Okay," he said, softly. "I'll try."

I scooted back a little bit as Jared concentrated. His face twisted with the effort and for a long minute nothing happened. My heart sank. Well, we could always try something else—and just knowing that it was 'we' and not 'I' made me feel that much better. But then, the skin on Jared's hands and feet began to split—fur burst forth along the seams of his arms and legs. His face and ears slowly elongated. It was happening.

He got up on all fours and shook the rest of his human self off. He shuddered in pain and I didn't know how long he could keep this up.

The Jared-wolf reached a paw towards me and I began talking.

"Please, whoever is out there—Leah, Embry—we need help. There's a trail, the old logging road, I left it. Watch out for Sam. He's not himself. He traded me for Emily but she's—she gone now. We can't save her. I didn't mean those things I said—Rosalie told me to, it was the only way I could escape. Edward can read minds but not mine and if you didn't believe that I was staying he would have never left me alone and I don't love him and I never did and I know that now and I'm sorry—please! I'm so sorry! I—"

But Jared couldn't hold his form any longer and he collapsed in on himself. The fur retreated and it was just a tired, sick human boy that lay in front of me.

"They heard you, Bella," he said. "They heard."

"Are you okay?"

"I'm tired—going to sleep again—rest—" He shut his eyes and fell asleep and I was alone with my thoughts again. Victoria couldn't suspect anything. She would kill us without a second thought. I wondered why she had bothered to keep Jared alive for so long. She couldn't mean to have him devour me—while the pack listened in in horror?

I shuddered.

Using my feet, I tried to push the rags back over Jared. There was nothing I could do for him now except keep him hidden. With the last of my strength I dragged myself back to my wall and fell asleep listening for the foot steps of tiny creatures.

***

A tickling at my wrist brought me out of my dreamless sleep. It was pitch black. The candles had gone out. I rattled my chains a bit, trying to itch my wrist but the tickling was replaced by a sharp bite.

I screamed and bashed my wrists against the wall trying to shake the rat loose. I felt a couple more run over my feet. I was going to be eaten alive. The rats renewed their attack and I flailed my legs, trying to keep them at bay. Tears of fear filled my eyes. I didn't want to die—not before—

A flickering light appeared in the entranceway and I hesitated. Victoria herself seemed incandescent in the glow from the tiny flame. The rats took advantage of the pause and bit hard at my arms.

Victoria gave a tinkling giggle. "I see playtime has begun! The more you struggle, my dear, the more I enjoy it."

She sat down directly in front of me and placed the candle between us.

"Oh, don't worry, I won't let them eat too much—I'll be the one to take off your skin in the end. And drain you dry."

My tears fell harder—rage and fear combined—as I flailed against the rats. I didn't know how long I could keep this up. Victoria just watched, a half-lidded expression of satisfaction and desire played out across her face.

Adrenaline flowed through me and I wondered if I could somehow manage to drop the weight on top of the rats, crushing them.

A loud crash came from outside the chamber and Victoria was up and running before I could register it. I had more pressing concerns, though, and I pivoted forward and tried to lift the heavy weight up. I was going to crush their tiny skulls if it was the last thing I did—and at this rate, that might be all too accurate a threat.

I managed to swing the weight around and it landed heavily on a tail, causing the rat to give a loud squeal.

"See how you like it!" I yelled.

I leaned forward again, lifting the weight up and swung, crushing another one and knocking over the candle in the process. It was dark again but I tried a third time and a fourth and a fifth. I was getting tired and the rats kept coming.

I had to keep fighting. I tried again but this time, instead of falling backwards on to a squealing pile of rat, I was lifted in the air. I shrieked!

"Bella! It's me," came a familiar voice. "You're okay!"

I was too worked up to listen and struggled against my new captor. "Let me go!" I yelled.

But the man didn't listen.

"Jared!" I called out. "Help!"

The man carried me out the cave and into the bright light of day. He laid me down on my stomach in the clearing outside of the cave.

"Do you have the file?" he called out.

"Yeah—it's here," said a woman, tossing something over.

There was the sound of metal being ground away and I wiggled my fingers in anticipation of freedom.

"Bells, quit it!" said the man. "You're messing up my concentration."

I stopped.

"Jacob?" I asked, quietly.

"Yeah?" He said.

"I'm sorry."

"Not as sorry as you'll be if I take off your fingers—now lay still."

I obeyed and a few minutes later, my hands were released from their metal bindings and I rolled over to look up at my best friend.

His face was haggard and he was covered in bruises and scratches. I reached up to touch him, to feel that he was real.

"What happened to you?" I asked.

Jacob caught my hand in his larger one. "Me?" he said with a small smile. "What happened to you?"

My arms were covered in blood and tiny bite marks that began to throb with pain as soon as I saw them. Embarrassed, I tried to pull my arm back but Jacob didn't let go.

"We almost didn't know where to find you," said Jacob. "There are a lot of old logging roads back up around here." He helped me to sit up. "But there was something—a paper—you left it in my room that night."

"Oh." I didn't care. It just mattered that he found me.

"And your book. I found that, too."

"I'm glad." I didn't even care if he forgave me or not—well, almost didn't care. I tried to stand but my legs were still too wobbly and I fell into Jacob's arms.

Hesitantly, I wrapped my aching, bloody, disgusting arms around him. Jacob froze.

"Bells, did you mean it—what you said?" he asked softly.

"When?" I asked back, speaking into his warm chest.

"In the cave, you said—Edw—the Cullens—you didn't mean it, did you? You were just scared. We would have saved you anyway, you know. I don't hold grudges." Jacob held his breath.

"I meant it," I said quietly. "I never loved Edward. It was a crush. I was flattered. I didn't think anybody would ever notice me and then this beautiful creature tells me I'm his? I was stupid."

Jacob put his arms around me and it felt like heaven. I began to cry.

"Shhhh…" said Jacob. "It's okay, honey. It's all okay now."

And I knew it would be.

***

Nobody ever found Sam or Emily's bodies. The wolves weren't completely giving up hope but it had been months since they had caught a glimpse of Sam's thoughts. Either way, it looked like he wasn't coming back, so Jacob had taken over as alpha wolf. Leadership wasn't something that came easy for him but he had earned the pack's respect and trust.

It took me much longer to earn everyone's respect and trust. Embry, Quil, and Paul were still different around me and poor Jared had his own trauma to recover from. Angela and Leah had quietly begun dating over the summer, much to everyone's surprise, but we were all happy for them—especially since Leah had grown much happier under Angela's calming influence.

Jacob and I played the will-he-won't-he game for weeks until I finally took matters into my own hands and kissed him one rainy afternoon while we were hanging out in the garage. Sometimes, he still looked at me like I was going to run off after Edward at any second but I supposed that was something I would have to live with—for now at least. I owed him that much.

Edward and the Cullens had left Forks. Rosalie was true to her word. I don't know if she ever knew how Sam had double-crossed us but I wished her well wherever they ended up.

Victoria had been ripped apart and the Volturi? Well, Jacob claimed the pack were more than ready when the time came.

Charlie took the longest of any of them to forget the events of that spring. I had failed some of my senior classes and decided to repeat the grade instead of going off to college right away. To be honest, we all needed the extra time. My curfew was earlier than it had been and if Charlie himself drove me over to the Blacks' house, well, I wasn't going to complain—too much.


	14. Epilogue

_Okay, I lied. Chapter 13 wasn't the end._

_This is dedicated to kittennic, irisheyessmiling, and lylly. Ask and ye shall receive._

_Because we all need a little fluff in our lives…besides, it's snowing out. What else do I have to do?_

***

_This is the mystery of the quotient—_

_Upon us all a little rain must fall._

-Led Zeppelin, "The Rain Song"

1. June

I woke up to a gray, hazy light. My heart pounding. A cool breeze fluttered the curtains and rustled the papers on my desk. I was in my room; I was safe. I didn't much remember my dreams anymore but I still woke Charlie with my screams from time to time. Not as often as before—last year—when Edward left the first time. I was getting better.

We were going hiking today. Jacob and I. Ever since my—confinement—at the Cullens' house, being indoors made me anxious. I liked to smell the damp earth and hear the rustling of the trees. Books were too quiet. My mind wandered to dark places.

Besides, it was summer and I'd be spending enough time re-reading _Romeo & Juliet _next year when I repeated 12th grade. My take on it has changed a little since the first time around—killing yourself for love? Not romantic.

I got up and got dressed: jeans, a tank top, and a hoodie. Just because it was summer didn't mean it wasn't chilly and it was supposed to rain later today.

Charlie was drinking coffee in the kitchen and he gave me a worried look as I poured myself a cup, too. He worried a lot these days. I didn't blame him. I had been gone—held hostage—for two weeks. He blamed himself for not protecting me. I know he did. So, I knew that what he wanted to say was, "Please don't leave me again," but what he actually said was: "Morning, sweetie."

It's just how we Swans handled complex emotion.

"Morning, Dad." I replied.

"So—you going out with Jake again today?"

"Yup. We're hiking up past Owl Rock."

"Well, you just be careful. And be sure and check in a couple times during the day—just to be safe."

"I will."

"That's my girl."

***

Owl Rock was the goal.

I can do it… I can do it… I chanted under my breath. It was steep going but I kept Jacob's broad back directly in my line of sight. He wasn't wearing a shirt and I watched a bead of moisture trace its way down his shoulder blade and down to his back to—

"Ow!" A rogue tree root interrupted my reverie, leading me to graceless but not out-of-character faceplant.

"Bells! Are you okay?" Jacob turned around, his face full of concern.

"I'm fine—well, everything except my ego." I blushed and sat back on my heels. It's a good thing I don't own any nice clothes, I thought as I brushed the dirt off of my arms and shirt.

Jacob crouched down beside me and licked his thumb. He ran it slowly down the side of my face. I blushed again but not from embarrassment.

"You had dirt on your face," Jacob said, his voice soft and low. "I can't take you anywhere." He met my eyes and butterflies filled my stomach.

Jacob stood up and reached down towards me. I took his hand and he pulled me up. He didn't let go and I didn't want him to.

"You'd better be careful, Bells, or I'll have to carry you the rest of the way." He grinned at me but I remembered the last time I was carried through the woods. And where I ended up.

I dropped Jacob's hand and looked away. "We should keep walking," I said.

I felt the first drops of rain hit my head.

"If that's what you want," Jacob replied.

And when I turned around again he was already trudging ahead into the woods. I pulled my hood up and followed him.

***

2. July

"Are you sure it's okay that I come?"

"Are you doubting my authority as Alpha?"

"No, but—I don't know. Everybody looks at me weird—like they don't trust me or something."

"You're just being paranoid. Come on! It'll be fun. I promise."

"Okay, okay! If _you_ promise there will be fun—"

"Exactly. _I _promise. So, I'll come pick you up around 8?"

"Sure, sure," I said. "See you then."

A bonfire on the beach. With the pack. I sighed. Things would be a lot more fun if Leah didn't shoot me poisonous looks every time we crossed paths. And Quil and Embry started joking around with me again. And Jacob—well, at least he hadn't given up on me.

It's just that I _knew_ that they all blamed me for what happened to Emily and Sam—and Jared. Okay, maybe 'blamed' is too harsh a word. But if hadn't been for me, Victoria would never have—and then she couldn't have—

If I was being honest, I kind of blamed me, too. But what could I do?

***

I was waiting outside when Jacob pulled the Rabbit into the driveway at 8:15 that evening.

"Bye!" I called into the house. "Jake's here!"

"Call if you need anything," came Charlie's response.

I smiled and ran down to the car, keeping a tight grip on my paper grocery bag.

"Hey!" I said cheerfully, as I clambered in.

"What's in the bag?" asked Jacob, with a smile.

"Something for the bonfire."

"Wood?"

"No!"

"Um—marshmallows?"

"Uh-uh. And I'm not telling. Yet." I twisted an imaginary key over my mouth and threw it away.

"If that's the way you're going to play it, I get to pick the music," said Jacob, with a mischievous look in his eyes.

"Not Mix 3! I'm so tired of—"

"I didn't think you could take once you had thrown away the key," quipped Jacob as he cranked Driving Mix 3 and started singing along.

We reached the beach not a second too soon.

Jacob took my hand and led me down the dark path to the beach.

"I can carry that bag for you—I mean, if _you_ wanted to free up your hands or something."

"My hands are good where they are."

He gently squeezed my hand and little sparks of pleasure shot up my arm and settled in the pit of my stomach. I moved a little closer.

Everyone else was already gathered around the fire, beer bottles in hand. Jacob let out a wild whoop as we approached and the pack answered. Quil came running and pounced on Jacob, knocking him down into the sand. And me, too, by proxy. I fell backwards onto my butt and laughed at the sight of Quil and Jacob wrestling like overgrown puppies.

"Bella!" called a familiar voice. "Over here!"

I squinted towards the orangey glow of the fire. Sparks reached up towards the sky. A figure was waving her arms. I stood up, brushing sand off my jeans, and she ran towards me.

"Angela?"

"Hi," she said shyly.

"What are you doing here?" I asked. "Not that I'm not happy to see you."

"Oh, I'm here with Lee—I mean, I came with Leah."

She looked over her shoulder back towards the fire and I saw Leah looking at us with a nervous look on her face.

Angela's face was flushed.

"What's in the bag?" she asked. I opened it and let her look inside.

"Do you think they'll like them?" I asked, suddenly nervous.

"I know they will," said Angela and she looped her arm through mine and led me over to the pack. "Who doesn't like chocolate chip cookies?"

***

The rain tapped quietly on the roof of the Rabbit as we drove home.

"So," said Jacob, "Are you going to make those cookies again? Because Quil really liked them."

"Quil liked them?"

"Yeah."

"I guess I'll have to make them again, then—for the next meeting. And maybe peanut butter ones, too."

"I think he'd like that."

And somehow, I didn't think were talking about Quil.

And it wasn't the remembered warmth of the fire that spread over me when Jacob hugged me good night.

***

3. August

"And then, this giant demon comes out of nowhere, right, and so she just—" I punched the air furiously. "But he's feeling guilty so he comes running back but when he gets there she's already killed all the bad guys. And she's all, 'Did you need your butt kicked, too?' And he's all like—"

"Whoa, wait a second," said Jacob, looking over at me. "I have two questions. One: How much soda did you drink today and b: what are you talking about?"

"Jake!" I squealed. "You weren't listening?!"

"Hey," he said, with a grin. "It's your truck I'm working on—you have only yourself to blame if I get distracted and end up connecting the brakes directly to the wipers or something."

"I _was_ talking about this idea for a story I had—but if you find me distracting, then I guess I can find something else to do. There's probably something good on TV."

I made like I was getting up to storm out but before I could reach the door, Jake's strong arms swooped around to catch me from behind.

"Don't go," he said, softly. I could feel his warm breath on my ear. It tickled.

"I don't know," I said, pretending to think about it. "What's in it for me if I stay?"

My heart was pounding.

"A shiny nickel?"

His was, too.

I turned around to face him and he let go.

"You have a smudge on your face," I said, the caffeine and sugar of all the sodas I drank that afternoon making me brave.

"Where?"

"Lean down and I'll get it."

Jacob looked at me skeptically.

"Don't you trust me?" I asked. I licked my lips.

He bent down so I could reach his face and I wiped away the imaginary dirt on his cheek.

"Are you done?" he said.

"Not yet—close your eyes."

Jacob obeyed.

And then I kissed him on the lips.

He kissed me back.

***

4. September

"This is so embarrassing!"

"Well, sweetie, on the bright side, you get a second chance at all those assignments you didn't do."

I sighed. Why did Charlie have to be so reasonable about school? I got out of the cruiser.

"See you tonight," I said, waving.

Charlie flashed the lights as he drove out of the parking lot.

It was embarrassing.

But sweet.

Kind of like my life.

A couple of fat raindrops hit my head as I headed in to Forks High School to face my senior year—again.

***


End file.
